Diet? Not again!

Spin the wheel!

2011-10-03T05:00:00.001-04:00

The last three weeks, I've been the guinea pig in a very unscientific experiment. The results: Definitely nothing new.

When I journal -- writing down all the foods I eat, the exercise I do, and my moods during the day, I make better food choices. Maybe it's because I don't want to write down the Twizzlers that are crossing my lips, because the reality of that would be too much to bear.

Not quite sure, but today I woke up, and the first thing I did was to dust off my journal -- which I didn't keep week -- a week that was plagued with BAD food choices. Sure, we had lots of social occasions, but that's life. I ate my brother-in-law's birthday cake because it look too damn delicious to pass up. And then there was my niece, Elizabeth's, lemon bars, which I know first-hand are to die for -- literally and figuratively. Eat enough and they really could kill anyone.

And of course, those foods were just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

So today, a Monday, I am once again determined to journal. I really do relate to the poor hamster who never makes any progress in the wheel. Just like the hamster, I'm stuck. I really hope this changes. Fast.

Apples: Never lost in the sauce!

2011-09-29T06:03:00.006-04:00

I've had it with summer: Bring on the fall -- and its abundance of apples. Although I eat apples year-round -- even summer's mealy ones make it into my luncheon salads -- I crave the crisp, juicy apples that are now taking over the markets.

I only buy organic apples, which to me makes sense since apples always top the list of the dirtiest fruits and vegetables. The problem with organic apples is that they don't have the variety of conventional ones, but that's a small price to pay.

Apples are a great source of fiber, in addition to some vitamin C and the flavonoid quercetin, which has antioxidant properties.

At market, look for apples with no bruises, dents, scapes or soft spots. Once home, pop them in the refrigerator, where fresh apples will keep up to three months. Of course, for long storage periods, check them daily and discard any apples that are beginning to rot. You know what they say about one rotten apple.

At room temperature, apples should be OK for about a week. Again, check them daily. When my kids were small, I always kept a big basket on the counter, ready for eating. And it worked! Today, all three of my kids still love apples.

And they also love my applesauce.

I cut at least 10 McIntosh apples into quarters, and throw them into a pot, compelte with stems, skins and seeds. Place the pot on simmer, and cook until the apples are mushy and soft.

I use Macs because of the high-water content in the apples. No water needed for applesauce.

Once they are soft, I place them in a hand-cranked Foley food mill, which immediately turns the apples into sauce -- minus the skins, stems and seeds. But by doing it this way, you capture the fiber from the skins, which pumps up the nutritional value of the applesauce. Add some cinnamon and call it sauce!

The cycle of abuse

2011-09-28T07:54:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I listened to Denise Brown talk about her sister, Nicole's, life struggle with OJ Simpson. The event was the annual luncheon of The Center for Women and Families of Eastern Fairfield County, an organization that helps keep thousands of women safe each year, in addition to educating anyone who will listen about domestic abuse and sexual assault. We all know Nicole's story, and for years, we watched her anguished family seek justice for the daugther and sister they loved.

As I listened to Denise, I began thinking how someone's actions 17 years ago changed her life forever. Denise is now an advocate, appearing before Congress and organzations such as The Center, trying to get people to understand the cycle of violence -- that abusers are not abusers 24/7. That in many cases, abusers are charming and lovely, until some event turns them into monsters. Her plea is that we all work together, to be on the alert at all times, searching for evidence of abuse in our loved ones, our friends, our neighbors and our co-workers.

So what does the Brown family's fight for justice have to do with dieting? Absolutely nothing. Sort of. On the way home from the luncheon I started to look at my life, which although not perfect, is pretty darn close. There has never been a day since I married Jack that I have been afraid to come home. My home is my safety net, a place of love, a place of comfort. I am so fortunate, and I want to be able to live this life for many years to come.

And the best way to do that: Eat healthy and exercise daily.

The Four Agreements

2011-09-26T05:00:00.002-04:00

I learned about the Four Agreements last year during a yoga class, picked up the book by don Miguel Ruiz, and have been trying to put those four principles to work ever since. The principles are practiced to create love and happiness.

I am using these four principles to become less cynical, which in turn I know will bring contentment, peace and happiness. Cynicism is a requirement of a journalist -- a healthy attribute to keep you questioning the people you are interviewing. But here I am, four years after leaving my profession, still trying to erase those years of not trusting anyone from my present life.

What do the Four Agreements have to do with my weight? I am an emotional eater, and eat to feed a hunger deep within. Tame my inner beast, and pounds be gone. That's my theory.

Reading The Four Agreements is simple. And lovely. I read one each morning, and work on that concept the rest of the day. Still, living the principles has become one of the hardest tasks I have ever set forth to accomplish.

So here they are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Cheese puffs out! Pirate's Booty in!

2011-09-21T06:54:00.005-04:00

Before I would buy a piece of clothing for my kids I would ask them: "Do you love this (fill in the blank)?" If they said "yes," we took it home. If they hesitated for even an instant, it stayed in the store.

Yesterday, I was thinking about why I love The Food Lovers system of eating so much, and that flashback popped into my mind. If my kids loved their clothes, they would wear them.

The Food Lovers system is based on the premise that you eat only the foods you love. Period. Do not waste calories on food that is unappealing or not satisfying. The key to eating is portion control, and once you understand that, everything else falls into place.

I have to admit that the past few weeks have been a real eye opener for me. I can eat everything in the store, as long as the food does not contain what Food Lovers calls the dirty dozen (primarily sugars that fill our processed foods) in the first four ingredients. But for every food in the store that is made up of one or more of the dirty dozen, there is a healthy substitute waiting to be tried.

And I've found some foods I really love. Like Pirate's Booty, the healthy alternative to cheese puffs. First, it doesn't turn your fingers and teeth orange, a very good thing for adults. And Pirate's Booty tastes terrific.

I've become a shopping detective, searching for new and interesting foods, and then reading labels to see how healthy they really are. I've also been reading the labels on some of our mainstays, and was amazed by the amount of junk so many of them contain.

But the most amazing thing of all: In the past two weeks, I can honestly say there was not one food that passed my lips that I didn't love. As for my weight: I cannot weigh myself until a week from today, but I can tell I have dropped a few pounds. I already feel it in my clothes. Wow! I feel so normal.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2011-09-20T05:00:00.000-04:00

There was a time when I considered my body as my temple, something to honor, cherish and protect, something to feed with only nutritious, healthy foods.

I'm not sure when my temple became the holding place for cheesecake, Twizzlers and enormous amounts of food, but I so wish I had never let this happen. And I'm also sure that this didn't happen overnight, but gradually, over the years.

Two powerful thoughts there:
1. Our bodies should be our temples.
2. It took time to look the way I do now, so to get them back into shape will take time. There is no overnight fix.

Which brings me to Aretha Franklin, who sang one of my favorite songs, Respect. What a powerful word.

If we all respect our bodies, feed them with foods and vitamins that will make them thrive, we will simply feel better, look terrific, and have more energy. We will be able to be true participants in life, not merely bystanders watching everyone else have fun.

I don't have to listen to the song. Aretha spelling out that one word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, is now ingrained in my mind. I mentally spell it to myself several times each day, and eventually, it will become part of my DNA.

My body. My temple. It's time I protected it more, and showed it some respect.

This joke's on me

2011-09-19T05:00:00.001-04:00

There is something comforting about old friends. We joke, we talk, we've watched our families blossom -- but most of all, we laugh.

Friday night we had book club at Bloodroot, the feminist vegetarian restaurant in Bridgeport that is perfect for a group of women to get together for hours to chat. After we discussed the book, Sarah's Key, the conversation naturally drifted toward diets, the subject that has occupied our lives since our kids were small. This night we talked about the worst diets we had all been on, which made us laugh so hard we had tears in our eyes.

If there is one thing we have all been, it's consistently on and off diets.

I told the story of signing up for Jennie Craig, and as I was leaving, bumping into one of the women at Bloodroot this night. We laughed and laughed, but when I was alone in the car, on the way home, this fact hit me hard: We have all spent too much of our waking days obsessing about our weight.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time, go back a few decades and appreciate the importance of reaching a goal weight and sticking to it. It's time for me to stop fooling around. Consistently eating lean protein, tons of fruits and veggies, avoiding sugar and exercising daily can add years to my life. And now, I need all the extra years I can get.

Enough laughing. It's time to get serious.

Dr. Hunk

2011-09-16T05:00:00.001-04:00

I have to admit that that the Doctor's TV show is one of my guilty pleasures. That I owe to Dr. Travis Stork, the one who is so cute I just want to pinch his cheeks. Among other things.

So when I saw his sweet, smiling face gracing the cover of Woman's World, it took one second for that grocery check-out pulp magazine to make it onto the conveyor belt. Whatever he was selling, I was going to buy.

He was selling water. Just water. Actually ice-cold water. Dr. Hunk says that if you drink six 8-ounce glasses of ice-cold water daily, at specific times of day, you'll not only boost your overall health, but speed up your weight loss.

Can it be this easy?

According to Dr. Stork it is. He cites research from Virginia Tech that discovered people who drink water before a meal automatically consume 13% fewer calories at the meal. Dr. Stork says to think of your tummy as a balloon that expands and contracts depending on how full it is. Fill it with zero-calorie water and there's not much room left for food.

And why the ice? When you drink ice water, your body has to heat it up to body temperature, which shoots up you metabolism by 25% for the next 60 minutes.

So why haven't we heard this before? According to Dr. Stork, there's no money to be made from encouraging people to drink water. No profit, no publicity.

His formula for adding water into your diet is simple. Drink an 8-ounce glass:
As soon as you get up in the morning;
Mid-morning;
Before lunch;
Mid-afternoon;
Before dinner;
At 8 p.m.

I'll toast to this.

Be prepared!

2011-09-15T05:00:00.000-04:00

Be prepared -- the Girl Scout motto that I recited over and over for years. Too bad I haven't brought those two little words into my food life.

I know that when I plan my meals for the week, grocery shop for the foods I need, and then make the meals I plan I STAY ON A GOOD EATING PLAN.

It's just that simple.

I run into problems when I don't prepare and am caught with nothing to bring to work for lunch, or nothing defrosted for dinner. The fastest track to meal disasters.

Now, thanks to Food Lovers, I not only have to plan my meals, I have to plan my snacks. It's a lot of planning but it makes me feel in control. Last weekend I sat down and planned meals and snacks for a week, and did a big food shopping. Tuesday we had a terrific quick chili, and last night, a wonderful citrusy Cuban pork kebabs.

I vary my snacks, keeping them in the 100 to 200 calorie range, and have such fun deciding what I should pick. Kind bars -- one of my favorite treats that I always felt guilty eating -- have become the go-to snack when I am really harried.

It's all about planning, or as any good Scout knows, just being prepared.

Tricked up

2011-09-14T06:08:00.006-04:00

My favorite food is pizza. It is also a trigger food for me. There is no way I can eat just one slice, and after devouring three, sometimes four slices, I'm ready for dessert. Add to the fact that I am lactose intolerant and allergic to wheat, and it's obvious that pizza really is not a food I should ever eat.

Especially now, when I am seriously trying to shed pounds. Monday, I was able to avoid pizza, thanks to a little trick I've learned from the Food Lovers Fat Loss System: Never go longer than three hours without eating.

Monday night is family dinner, when our two grown children, their spouses (and now our newest grandbaby, Kiley), come over for dinner. It was Kim and Tim's turn to cook, the day didn't turn out as planned, and they had no time to cook. Instead, they were bringing pizza, something I discovered when I heard Jack ordering a few pies. I panicked. Jack very nicely had ordered me a salad, but greens for dinner? No way.

But I was in control, because my new way of eating. Monday afternoon, I ate my snack on the way home, which always fills me up. When Jack told me about my salad dinner, I headed for the market and bought myself a veggie burger, soy cheese, and no gluten rolls. The greens served as a healthy side to my very healthy meal.

I was sated. But the funny thing: I didn't realize until Tuesday morning that the reason I was in control was because of the snack. This old dog really is learning some new tricks.

Good pain

2011-09-13T05:00:00.002-04:00

There is no morning I hate more than Monday. I have never been the type that can't wait to get to work after the weekend.

Yesterday was no different. But yesterday, because of Sunday's bike ride, I could hardly move. There weren't enough props to pry me comfortably out of bed. And then I started thinking: Could I feel any more out of shape? No! So I decided to pop in a cardio workout DVD because it couldn't possibly make me feel worse than I did.

It didn't. And at the end of the DVD, I felt great. Sort of. Still sore. Very sore. But what a sense of accomplishment.

So this morning, without even giving myself the chance to say no, I exercised. In addition, from now on, stage forward in my mind, is the image of me standing on a scale reading "fat." In this case, a picture is worth a trillion words.

And once again, after exercising, I felt great. Another pat on my back, albeit a gentle one, because now, even my toes are aching!

Sept. 12: New beginnings

2011-09-12T06:32:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, I couldn't tear myself away from the TV. Jack wanted to avoid it all.

At noon, Jack announced he was going on a bike ride. I thought terrific, I can be alone. But as I was thinking that, I also started thinking about hitting the grocery store and buying everything I didn't want to eat. I knew his bike ride would be at least two hours, plenty of time for me to feed my sorrow with food.

Without warning, I got myself off the couch and told him I was going with him. What? He was headed to the bike trail, planning on doing a 15-mile loop that is anthing but flat. A 15-mile ride in Hilton Head -- the last time I was on a bike -- is a snap. Here, it's a feat.

When we hit our first hill, my immediate thought was to walk. Hey, it's still exercise. Then I thought of the people of 9/11 who found courage deep within themselves that day that they didn't know they had. I thought of the thousands who died, and those first responders who are suffering so from breathing in Ground Zero's toxic dust. So I offered my pain and discomfort up to them all. It took me longer than it should have, but when I reached the top of the hill, still on the bike, I had tears flowing down my cheeks. I felt great.

Not at peace. But not giving in gave me hope. My exercise pain is nothing compared to what all those brave people went through 10 years ago. It's time for me to stop being such a wimp and whip myself into shape.

I never went grocery shopping yesterday. Talk about achievements.

What a rut!

2011-09-09T04:24:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure when I stopped eating cantaloupe, but for years, it has not found its way into my home. Recently, cantaloupes have been on sale, the perfect time to give them a second chance.

Having a slice of melon is better than eating a Twizzler -- and for me, that is high praise. I could eat a pound of Twizzlers and not feel sated. Horrid yes; not sated.

But eating a slice of juicy, ripe canteloupe creates an explosion of taste in my mouth, which is not only yummy but so very satisfying. I really can eat just one slice!

Yesterday, as I was enjoying my melon, I began thinking of the food rut I have been in. Day after day I eat the same breakfast (an egg with veggies); lunch (greens, chicken, sliced apple); and dinner (protein and veggie). It's not that my meals aren't tasty. They are. They are just too consistent, so when something interesting (read loaded with calories) comes along, I cannot resist.

This weekend I am going to set aside an hour to plan my meals for next week. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I will write every meal down in my journal, make my shopping list, and then hit the market. Next week, there will be no rushing around at the last minute to find something interesting to eat.

But most of all, I plan on mixing up my foods. Boredom be gone.

There are millions of foods, millions of recipes, and next week, I'm going to try a few new ones. If I am ever going to lose weight -- and keep it off -- I need to be creative.

My rut has not been good for my gut.

The power of infomercials

2011-09-08T07:26:00.004-04:00

Over and over again I swear I am not going on another diet. But then I have a sleepless night, and bam, I'm on the phone ordering the diet du jour that will solve all my problems.

Right after we got back from vacation in July I had one of those sleepless nights. And I "met" Robert Ferguson -- certified nutritionist, fitness specialist and a doctoral candidate in sports psychology. The fact that he is also an inspirational lecturer might have been the real reason I bought his program, "The Food Lovers Fat Loss System."

He had me with these words: "This is not a diet." I was putty, and my credit card was whipped out before he even finished his 30-minute pitch. What he was saying made sense to me: Eat every two to three hours, and only eat the foods you love. His theory is if you eat foods you really don't like, as soon as you lose the weight, the pounds start rolling back on.

Been there. Done that far too many times.

When my box of goodies arrived, I was beyond intimidated. It is a huge box, filled with all sorts of books, CDs and DVDs to get you started shedding pounds. I did exactly what he instructed -- began with the instuctional DVD -- and put my binder together, which has now become my bible and journal. It goes everywhere with me.

Day 1 was Tuesday, and he only asked that I listen to the CD for Day 1, and include a snack between meals, so I am eating every two to three hours. Easy? No! I actually had to set my BlackBerry's alarm to remind me to eat my snack. And there were times I was not hungry, but I did what he instructed.

The really wild part: At meals, I was sated. I ate normal meals, and not once did I even think of going back for seconds.

Yesterday, I began to learn how to make a Food Lovers Plate, which when done correctly, combines a protein, a fast carb and a slow carb. I am by no means a pro at all this, but I like the message. There is science behind what he is saying, and I am eating it all up.

My direction for today: Eat breakfast within an hour of waking up. Again, not easy, but I did it. And as I am writing my blog this morning, instead of thinking about how hungry I am, I am full and content.

Happy, happy new year!

2011-09-07T07:49:00.003-04:00

When I tell people I write a blog, many just roll their eyes. I know they are thinking, "Just what the world needs. Another blog."

There are days when I feel the same way. I have absolutely nothing I want to write about that has anything at all to do about food. Of course, those are the days - or should I say weeks -- that my eating is out of control. Obviously, I've had more than a month of those days, since my last post was right before we left for vacation in July.

Yesterday I had a great eating day, and the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning was my blog. And truth be told, I write this blog for myself, although I know the world could stumble upon it. I decided to start the blog to help myself -- and hopefully some new and old friends -- wage the battle of the bulge together. When I write my blog, I tend to stay more focused and determined.

This week has always been about beginnings, the week school always started for me, even through college. New school supplies, a cute outfit to show off, and shoes fresh out of the box. A commitment to do well in classes, and perhaps make a new friend along the way.

When I was soaking up the sun in Hilton Head in July, sipping a glass of wine and eating some cheese and crackers, I picked Sept. 6th as the day to begin anew.

Yesterday was my new beginning. I decided I am not looking back, only ahead. I am not beating myself up over the pounds I didn't lose this summer. Yesterday I dusted off my food journal and wrote down everything that crossed my lips, every drop of water I drank, every morsel of food. I've read enough to know that those who write a food journal succeed at weight loss. I am not taking any chances.

Once again I am starting anew. And once again, I started today with a prayer, asking for help to make today as stellar as yesterday.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. On to step No. 2.

Advice from a pro

2011-07-22T05:00:00.000-04:00

When I was a newspaper features editor, weekly we ran Charles Stuart Platkin's terrific column, the Diet Detective. As often as I can, I try to read it online.

Recently, he addressed how stress causes you to gain weight, citing a study from the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine that found that stress -- in addition to affecting your physical and psychological well being -- makes you want to eat more, which of course causes weight gain.

Platkin says we gain weight for two reasons:

Biological Interference: Biologically your body is designed for a “fight or flight” response to stress. So when you’re stressed, your body releases hormones to help you do either. And since most of our stress does not come from lion attacks, a simple stressful e-mail from your boss is all it takes to make you start eating.

The brain sends out a stress hormone called cortisol, which regulates energy by tapping into the body’s fat storage and protein, converting it into glucose and bringing it to muscles and to the brain. Additionally, it can move fat from storage depots and relocate it to fat cell deposits deep in the abdomen; researchers have shown that the abdomen is the best place for fast energy retrieval.

Cortisol may linger in your body long after the cause of the initial stress has passed and trick your body into thinking it has done something active in response to a perceived ‘threat.’ Cortisol also sends signals to your brain to refuel your body as soon as possible.

Eating Comfort Foods: When things are stressful, we reach for food that is comforting -- brownies, donuts, candy, ice cream, pizza, mashed potatoes, fried chicken?

Why do we crave these foods? First of all, your parents probably gave any -- or all of these foods to you when you were in pain. Carbohydrates make you feel better by releasing the hormone serotonin, which is a brain chemical that makes you feel good.

Now here's the terrific part of Platkin's article, tips to help you relax and stay the healthy eating course.

* Create a “Stress Snack Eating” kit that has healthy snacks. Have one anyplace you tend to overeat -- at home, at work, in the car. Fill it with portion controlled foods that are low in calories in case you over-indulge. Also put in a few non-food items, such as an iPod loaded with comedian sketches, a jump rope.
Keep Away Unhealthy Snacks. This becomes very important when you know you’re going to have a stressful day. Researchers have shown time and time again that snacks in sight are snacks that are eaten.
Enjoy Healthy Comfort Foods, like air-popped corn or a low-calorie and low sugar energy bar.
Exercise the Stress Away. Go out for a walk, take a spin class, go for a run — research shows that a bit of exercise can help you fend off unhealthy eating and reduce stress.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

2011-07-21T05:00:00.000-04:00

Most of us don't laugh enough. We tend to take ourselves too seriously, and when we do, our life gets too boring.

We all should take some time out of our busy days to do something we really enjoy. Maybe it's a walk on a beach, watching your favorite show on TV, or taking the time to play with a child.

Laughter and fun break down barriers and reduce stress. And when you mix laughter with activities such as throwing a ball to your dog or chasing your toddler around the yard, you're loosening up your joints that are constricted by tension and poor posture.

These simple activities brighten our day -- and our attitude. We might be having fun, but we are also taking care of our inner bodies.

I think it's time for all of us to take time for fun. I'm headed to the beach to go fly a kite.

On mayo

2011-07-20T05:00:00.001-04:00

Mayo is in just about everything -- especially during the summer. So when I cam across this post on the Diet Detective, I thought it was worth a repost. First, because mayo is just one of those things we can really do without. But second -- and most important -- one tablespoon of mayo has 110 calories, which means we can substitute many foods for mayo and consider how much exercise it would take to burn off that 110-calorie food.

To burn off 110 calories, you will have to exercise:
•Walking: 28 minutes
•Biking: 16 minutes
•Running: 12 minutes

Talk about food for thought.

Great recipe

2011-07-19T05:00:00.000-04:00

I probably eat too much chicken, but that's because I love it. I also love this recipe, which combines two of my favorite things: chicken and lemons. It is a remake of a recipe my mom made all the time. Mine has no added fat, which makes it a dieter's delight.

CHICKEN WITH LEMONS
Roasted lemons3 medium lemons, thinly sliced and seeded
1 teaspoon reduced-sodium chicken broth

Chicken
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, trimmed
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cumin
1 1/4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, divided

Roasted lemons: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and arrange lemon slices on it in a single layer. Brush the lemon slices with 1 teaspoon chicken broth. Roast the lemons until slightly dry and beginning to brown around the edges, 25 to 30 minutes.

Pound chicken breasts with a mallet until it is about 1/2 an inch thick. Place in large saute pan.

Mix cayenne and cumin and sprinkle on chicken.

Add broth and bring to a boil. Boil about 8 minutes, turning chicken halfway through cooking. Add the roasted lemons and the parsley. Simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 2 minutes. Transfer to a platter.

Introspection

2011-07-18T05:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend was all about celebrations. I weekend away with family and friends, lots of great food, and a baby shower in a wonderful restaurant.

I tried to make healthy choices, but it was often not possible. And I gave in and had a glass of wine, which immediately lowers my resolve. But although I was not perfect this weekend, I certainly was not horrid. And it did make me think about why I decided to have that glass of wine.

My answer is that I was feeling deprived. Big time. I love good food and wine. And when I am relaxed and having a good time, I love sharing both with friends.

So I gave it. Hey, that's life.

But Sunday I was back on track, and that made me very proud of myself. It also reinforced in my mind that to truly succeed at losing weight, some days I will not be perfect. But that's OK. This is not a race. If it takes an extra month or two to get to my goal, who cares? The important thing is that the day after I digressed, I got back on track. If I can keep this up, I will win.

Why lose weight?

2011-07-15T05:00:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, I learned one little fact that I think about almost daily: For every extra pound of body weight we lug around, our hips and knee joints suffer five times the impact. Five extra pounds adds 25 pounds of impact every time you take a step. So I want to drop 45 pounds, which means my knees and hips will consider it 225pounds lost, more than I weigh. There will be a spring to my step!

Since I am determined to stay the diet course this time, I am always looking around the Web for other facts, like the one above, that will keep me on true. I found such article on EverydayHealth, which should help on days when Twizzlers and ice cream calling my name.
• Extra pounds can worsen asthma and allergies since weight burdens the adrenal glands, which are involved in managing asthma and allergies. Extra weight also strains the respiratory system, which can make asthma worse.
• Less weight takes the pressure off your feet. A recent study found that after bariatric surgery, those who lost 90 pounds found foot pain dropped by 83 percent.
• Diets high in carbs and sugar can cause skin pallor, dark circles around the eyes and skin tags.
• Arthritis is tied to inflammation in the body. A number of studies have found that dropping pounds improves arthritis pain.
• Losing weight lifts your mood, increases your sense of well-being and decreases depression.
• A recent study found that people who underwent bariatric surgery had significantly improved memory than a control group.
• A recent study of 264 people with sleep apnea and diabetes discovered that those who lost the most weight showed a significant decrease in sleep apnea symptoms. In fact, the weight-loss group saw their sleep apnea symptoms cut in half.
• In a recent study of 424 gastric bypass surgery patients with type 2 diabetes, 83 percent were able to reverse the symptoms of their disease. A second, smaller study, showed that 11 type 2 diabetes patients on a severely calorie-restricted diet were able to get their blood sugar levels and insulin secretion activity back to normal within seven days.

Wow!

My closet

2011-07-14T05:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday it was all about my temple aka my body.

Today, it's all about my closet, one of my least favorite places in my house. At 10-by-12-feet, it should be one of my favorite places. Why do I hate it so much? Because it is jam-packed with clothes, most of which I can't wear because they are too small.

I often look at my closet and think how nice it would look if everything fit in the space perfectly, with lots of room between outfits so nothing gets wrinkled. But when your closet is a mash of 7 different sizes divided into fat, mid and skinny clothes, there really is no room for anything. My closet really is a most depressing place to hang out.

So here's my goal: Get down to one size. I have picked size 10, because my 5', 10" frame looks best in a 10. When I get down to an 8 -- and yes I have lots of clothes in that size and even smaller -- I look sickly. So 10 it is.

And as I begin this diet journey yet again, as one size starts to hang, those clothes are getting tossed. I am not keeping them "just in case," because I really can't go through this again. In the past, I always kept my fat clothes. I hated when I had to wear them, but they were there, old friends, waiting to see the world via fat Val!

This time around, they are going to have to see the world on someone else's body.

My temple

2011-07-13T05:00:00.000-04:00

From now on, when I think or talk about my body, I will use the word "temple." Just symantics, but a word change that really is life-altering.

Would I throw garbage in a temple? Would I trash one? Of course not. So why not treat my body like a temple?

My temple loves good food, it craves exercise, and it only wants to be around people it finds inspiring. When I don't eat well, my body usually tells me so about 2 a.m., when I wake up feeling horrid. Is this how I want to spend my life? Not anymore.

I really, really like the way I've been feeling for almost three weeks now. I wake up ready to face the day, and around 3 or 4 p.m., I'm not sitting at my desk looking for something sweet to give me extra energy. I arrive home happy, ready to cook a healthy meal that will keep me on plan.

This really is a new me. I've done this before, but as I have admitted, I have always lost weight for a reason, an event, something that I wanted to look great for.

I want to look great everyday. I dream about a closet filled with only one size of clothes. I dream about getting up each morning knowing every piece of clothing I own will fit me comfortably. And soon, this dream will be my reality. My temple told me so.

2011-07-12T05:00:00.000-04:00

When I started this blog, I was determined to diet my own way, without any help. That lasted a few months. I need help.

But I also need a more structured diet than Weight Watchers, so I began changing Weight Watchers to meet my goals. A few weeks ago I was ironing, and my eyes glanced at my bookshelf and settled on the Fat Flush Plan by Ann Louise Gittleman, a diet I used to shed pounds before our oldest daughter, Caitlin's wedding in 2004.

I actually liked that diet. It is very healthy and balanced, based on scientific research. Gittleman is a nutritionist, and I like that. In 2004 I used Fat Flush for five months, and lost about 50 pounds. This time, I have been steadily losing weight, exercising, and feeling much better than I did before I started. When I got weighed in at WW last Wednesday I had lost 4.6 pounds. Success!

When Jack reads this he will be angry, because he really feels that the only good diet is Weight Watchers. I still plan on attending weekly meetings, because I think the support is necessary. They are also motivating, and I think that's important.

But Weight Watchers is slow. And when I started to tweak the WW diet, I realized that what I had produced was actually Fat Flush. So why not go all the way?

I am so looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in, something that hasn't happened in years.

This time, it's about me!

2011-07-11T05:00:00.000-04:00

Finally! I am about to start putting my needs first. And believe me, that is a huge departure from my usual MO.

Last week really got me thinking about my weight. Motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me, but it also made me lose focus because I was just so busy. Work, cleaning, getting the kids to activities, shopping, cleaning -- there was precious little time left over for me. I'm not complaining. Just the facts.

In the past, when I decided to lose weight, there was always a special occasion I was losing for. And once that event happened, I started eating that day and would never stop.

I never really went on a diet because of me. I might talk a good game, and say it is all about good health, but down deep there is some date lurking that I have circled in my mind. And might I also add that although I always lost weight, I never lost enough to get to my goal.

This time, there is no date. All our kids are married, so there is no more walking down the aisle. This time, it is all about me and my health.

Last week's exercises really made me think about weight like I have never thought about it before. It made me face facts, and although I really didn't learn anything new, seeing it all written out really scared me. Like nothing else I have ever done.

So I have a choice: To lose weight and take care of myself so I can have a thriving senior experience. Or, continue on the way I am going, and find myself an old, shriveled couch potato with no zest for life, the kind of person I swore I would never become. Two weeks ago, that was my direction.

Not anymore.

Fresh beginnings

2011-07-08T05:00:00.000-04:00

I look a tad better than I did this time last week. And see, there is a beginning of a smile on my face.

I am finally understanding the power of photos. I have always hid in photos. I'm the one in the last row or grabbing a child to sit on my lap or hold in my arms. And I ask you: Who am I kidding?

When I look at myself in a mirror, I look at my face -- real close -- so I don't have to see how round it's become. I never look at my body -- and if I do, again it's real close, so I don't actually see how all the rolls of fat.

Pictures don't lie. And although this weekly exercise is one of the more painful I have ever done in my life, it's important for me to see myself as other people see me. What I should have done is take pictures from each angle -- but I really need baby steps here. Full-frontal is about all I can manage right now.

I am facing one of my great fears -- pictures -- head-on. I'm not liking what I see, but what a chronicle!

A dose of reality

2011-07-07T05:00:00.001-04:00

Years ago I read that if you want to get to the bottom of what's bugging you, it's time to make a list.

So here's what I did. At the top of the page I wrote:
"The Results of Compulsive Eating."

Then I stared at it for a long time, before I started to write down all the negative things that will happen to me if I continue to binge eat. We're talking worse-case scenario here.

I am not going to bore you with my whole list, because it took up one side of an 8 1/2-by-11-inch piece of paper. The top three will show the direction I was headed:
1. heart disease
2. diabetes
3. cancer

As you can see, those three would be enough to make anyone sit up and take notice.

It's the next part of this exercise that is so very important: Reframing, looking at the worst possible outcomes of any situation and deciding whether you can live with these outcomes. In most cases, when the issue is minor, you can, which makes you feel less stress and helps you solve the problem.

In this case, I could live with these issues -- but not one of them is something I would want to be facing. So I better reframe my emotions in order to get on with my life.

Now this is really important: By writing down the consequences of binging elevated binging to a different plain. All of a sudden binging is not about the moment -- it's really about how that moment is impacting my life, not only now, but in years to come.

By making that list, I was confronting binging in a way I had never done before. For the first time, it was not about an uncontrollable behavior. It was about what that uncontrollable behavior was doing to my body.

That list scared me. Whether it scared me enough to never binge again is something only time will prove. But I do know that list will never be far from my grasp. I made copies of it, and put it in strategic places, the places where binging always begins.

That list is my motivator for change. Right now, it's giving me faith in my ability to cope with binging.

Recipe time!

2011-07-06T05:00:00.000-04:00

One thing I have not done enough of in this blog is share recipes. Now is the perfect time to start, because although I am being really careful with what goes into my mouth, I need interest in my diet. My food's got to taste good.

Last night I whipped together I really terrific quick salsa to top my grilled grass-fed-non-antibiotic-containing-93-percent-lean hamburger without the bun. I have cut out sugar -- so ketchup right now is out. I am also not eating any fake sugars -- so sugarless ketchup is not an option. So what to put on my burger? This salsa.

Thank goodness I had a can of Muir Glen no-salt fire-roasted diced tomatoes in my pantry. Here's my recipe, although I would advise using it as simply a base and adding the veggies you love. What I used was in my fridge.

VAL'S SALSA
1 15-ounce can Muir Glen no-salt fire-roasted diced tomatoes, drained
2 garlic cloves, finely minced
4 scallions, green and white parts, diced
1/2 green pepper, diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced (adjust according to how hot you like it)
Zest of one lime
Juice of one lime
1/4 cup cilantro leaves, diced
Just mix everything together. You might want to wear plastic gloves when preparing the jalapeno.

P.S. It is so good, I wish I had doubled the recipe, because I know it will be topping lots of my food this week -- fish, poultry, even scrambled eggs.

Hard on myself

2011-07-05T05:00:00.002-04:00

Reading over yesterday's post, one thing stood out: I am very hard on myself. I need to start a campaign of self-loving, of showing the respect and consideration to myself that I show to other people.

Guess I better lose some weight really quickly, because that is really the way to my heart. Time to get a handle on my compulsive eating.

I just did a search on eating compulsive/binge eating -- and it's actually one of the big three eating disorders -- right up there with anorexia and bulimia. How come I didn't know that?

It seems that people like me have issues understanding and distinguishing various feelings and needs. If we are bored, angry, stressed, tired or disappointed, we experience these feelings as hunger. And so we try to fix these feelings with food, thinking it will make us feel better. That quick fix.

But wait: Where does that quick fix leave me? Sometimes 2 to 3 pounds fatter, which just compounds those feelings of disappointment, anger and tiredness. Vicious circle? The worst.

Time for me to get off this merry-go-round. Of course, everything I read says I need help -- psychotherapist, drugs or maybe even an extensive treatment program.

I need to find another way. I'm not opposed to seeking help; I just want to try to work this out myself, because in the long run, I can't be using crutches. I know what started my eating issues, and I'm too old to focus all my attention on blaming mom. She was a wonderful mother. She just thought that bones showing was attractive and told me so from the time I could walk.

Today, when faced with a food I should ignore, I am going to look at it and say "killer." Because if I keep eating the way I am, that is exactly what these foods will do to me. Graphic enough? We'll see.

I'll also be one of those people with a bottle of water in my hand everywhere I go. If I want to eat, I'll take a sip. Or a gulp, depending on what food is calling my name.

Compulsive Eating

2011-07-04T05:00:00.000-04:00

I have admitted before that I am a compulsive eater, that I know I have an eating disorder -- the same addiction that plagues alcoholics and drug addicts.

I am not talking about anorexia or bulimia -- neither pertains to my issues. I am talking about my inability to stop eating once I start. Nothing anyone says can derail me. Once I start, watch out. And once it ends, I not only feel physically horrid, emotionally I am a wreck.

I know thin people look at me with disdain, asking themselves why I have no will power. They assume many things, including:
1. I am not a strong person.
2. I don't care about how I look.
3. I am a failure.

None of those three items is true. I am an extremely strong person in most other aspects of my life, although when I am at the point I am now, insecurities start impacting my life.

I do care about how I look, but when I am eating uncontrollably, I am not thinking about lovely clothes.

Failure? I have a wonderful husband and three terrific, educated, thriving adult children, who all chose exceptional mates to spend their lives with. Failure? I think not.

So what is it that keeps me from dropping weight? I'm not sure, but I think this blog is going to be the perfect place for me to try to figure this all out.

What did I do?

2011-07-01T09:07:00.003-04:00

It was very scary opening my blog this morning to see my fat body staring out at me. What is really sad is that I thought I was smiling when Jack took my picture. I guess I am in pretty bad shape internally as well.

Time to fix that.

We are planning a trip to Tuscany next summer, and I swear I am not going to Italy in fat clothes, if for no other reason than they take up too much space in my luggage.

Weight Watchers is a wonderful diet, but this losing .2 pounds a week is really getting me down. It's a wonderful maintenance plan, and when I finally lose the weight, I will keep attending meetings.

But right now I need desperate measures, which I swore I would never again result to. What I am basically doing right now is the old Weight Watchers -- really restrictive but healthy. I am eating lean protein -- mostly chicken and fish, with a little red meat from time to time -- lots of green vegetables, and limiting myself to three pieces of fruit a day. But I am counting the veggies and fruits into my daily PointsPlus, something you do not have to do on the new plan.

I love the new plan. And one day, I hope it can be the way I eat. But it's not working for me. Bottom line: I have an eating disorder. Tell me I can have all the fruit I want, and portions be dammed. I think that info hit me when I ate a whole watermelon recently. I am not talking about the seedless varieties that run small. I'm talking about the watermelon with seeds, almost impossible to find, that weigh more than a small child. Unfortunately, that watermelon was just one of the fruits I consumed that day. There was also bananas, strawberries, an apple and a peach.

Is there any wonder why I am not losing weight? It's not a good thing to tell a compulsive eater that she can eat something to her heart's content, unless that something is celery or iceberg lettuce.

Right now, I don't want choices. I want to get up each morning and not think about food. I want to know that each day I will have a salad that contains grilled chicken or shrimp and an apple, and for dinner, a green vegetable, some protein, and another piece of fruit for dessert. Because I really dislike breakfast, fruit is my new way to go. If I am feeling energetic, I might make a whey fruit smoothie. And if I am famished, which for some reason I have not been since I started eating this way on Monday, I will have a few pieces of Melba toast, because I will never overeat those. Sort of like eating cardboard.

I have not got on the scale this week -- Monday morning was too much of a shock to my psyche -- but I will this coming Monday. I also did something I haven't done for years: took my measurements. I will also do that every Monday, because losing inches is so much more important than what the scale is telling me.

I'm back! Let's see how far I get this time.

Two months gone

2011-06-30T17:23:00.003-04:00

It seems like a year, but it's only been two months since I last posted. And what a two months it has been, eating everything in sight, packing on the pounds, and really feeling like such a failure.

Is there a reason for my actions? Not at all. My life is terrific, everyone is healthy, and I have nothing to complain about. So what has happened to me?

If I knew, then I wouldn't be fat. If I knew, I could make a million dollars, telling everyone the secret to being thin. If I knew, I would be able to step off this diet merry-go-round once and for all.

Unfortunately, I have no idea. But on Monday, I started eating normally again, and once again, I am praying I can keep this up. We'll see.

The reason I posted a picture: I hate the way I look right now, and seeing my fat body in print is incentive enough to keep me eating correctly. In fact, I plan on posting a new picture once a week, to chronicle my journey.

I'm back to posting on my blog. Because one thing I do know: I cannot lie in print.

What is wrong with me?

2011-04-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

I have been having a really hard time sticking to my Weight Watchers POINTS. I'm not sure why, but I am really frustrated and at a loss as to what to do.

I am exercising more than ever. Making time for exercise is part of my routine, not a chore. And I really am eating really healthy foods, it's just that I am eating too much of many good things. I do know that there are just some things I cannot bring into my house, and at the top of that list are nuts. I have never met a nut I didn't love. And I've tried to control my portions, but it can't be done.

I am journaling daily, so even when I eat too many nuts -- or whatever I have decided is the treat du jour - I record how many or how much I ate. My journal has become more like my diary, except that it has no lock. After all, who would really want to read my ramblings?

So today, I have decided to begin yet again.

At least I am not giving up. But come on: I've been writing this blog for 19 months and my weight has not changed all that dramatically. What is it going to take.....

Finish line? Goals? Who me?

2011-04-13T06:01:00.004-04:00

Each morning, Jane Powell's Meditations for Women arrive in my e-mail. Some are OK -- others, like today's, hit home. It asks the question: Are you in a race with no finish line?

I talk a good game, telling myself, and anyone who wants to listen, how much I want to lose weight. But do I really? In the back of my mind I do. What I haven't done is to set realistic goals, which is what today's meditation is about.

Weight Watchers is all about setting goals, and instead of telling you how much you need to lose, they set your first goal at 5 percent of your body weight. That's usually two weeks worth of weight loss on the Biggest Loser. It would take me at least double that to reach my 5 percent goal, but it certainly would be a start.

The meditation stresses the importance of goal setting, and then celebrating when you reach that goal. That alone gives your self-esteem and confidence a boost, simply because it proves that you are capable of reaching a goal.

But the meditation also stresses some important steps to take when setting a goal:
1. Determine what is important to you.
2. Resolve to pursue your goals with passion and persistence.

It's the passion and persistence I have been sorely lacking. Today, as I am driving to and from work, I am going to try to find ways to ignite passion and persistence.

And I have set a new goal: 5 pounds. That's not a lot, but with the way I have been eating recently, it is a ton of weight. And when I lose 5 pounds, I am going to treat myself to a massage, something I haven't had in about two years.

It really is important for me, and the way I view myself, to shed some serious weight. And if I wait until our season of events is over, it will be the fall before I lose weight.

But first, I have to step on the scale this morning at Weight Watchers, my weekly dose of reality. I pray next Wednesday will be different, that passion and persistence have been ignited, if for no other reason than my aching muscles can certainly use some deep kneading.

And that 5 pounds would translate into 25 pounds less pressure that's being forced on my knees and hips. Maybe, just maybe, if I concentrate on my aching knees, that will ignite passion and persistence. It's a thought....

Frightening!

2011-04-11T17:06:00.003-04:00

I sit all day at work. And since my office is small, there is nowhere to go. That’s why a report in Men’s Health mag made me cringe. The magazine cited a study from the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana – analyzing the lifestyles of more than 17,000 men and women over about 13 years – that determined people who sit for most of the day are 54 percent more likely to die of heart attacks.

And the horrid part: It doesn’t matter if you smoke or exercise. If you sit, even if you exercise, eat well and don’t smoke, sitting men and women alike still have a 54 percent greater risk of having heart issues than folks who don’t live healthy lifestyles and move around all day.

The other problem is that researchers don’t know why, although they suspect it has to do with an enzyme called lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which breaks down fat in the bloodstream and turns it into energy. In addition to affecting your health, sitting all day also:
1. Screws up your posture. The fascia, the tissue that connects individual muscles into a full-body network, begins to set when you stay in one position for too long.
2. Makes you fatter. You burn 60 more calories an hour standing versus sitting. And, if you sit too much, your largest muscle group — the glutes (butt) — become lazy and quit firing and you burn fewer calories.  
3. Causes lower back pain. Weak glutes push your pelvis forward, putting stress on the spine and your belly protrudes, making you look 5 months pregnant.

But Men’s Health has some suggestions:
1. Think of exercise as a lifestyle not an activity. Stop trying to be fit, and start trying to live fit. 
2. Stand more throughout the day.
3. Take two breaks an hour. Grab a drink or walk to a co-workers desk. Or, simply stand and stretch for a minute. A European Heart Journal study of 5,000 men and women found that the quarter who took the most breaks during the day were 1.6 inches thinner than the quarter who took the least.  
4. Stand during phone calls.
5. Don’t write long emails. Instead, talk to the person – and stand up when you call them.
6. Ask for a standup desk. Australian researchers found that workers who log more than 6 hours of seat time a day are up to 68 percent more likely to be overweight. Make sure the screen is at arm’s length, and the top at eye level. Position the keyboard so your elbows are bent 90 degrees.

And one from me: Take a 30-minute walk. I know I should do this, but I never do. Today, I am going to use those sneakers I keep in my office “just in case.”

What is a whole grain?

2011-04-11T07:03:00.003-04:00

Whole grains are in. They are rich in dietary fiber, loaded with vitamins and minerals, and keep us "moving" -- if you get my drift. They also fill you up, which can help anyone trying to lose some pounds.

But of course, once a food becomes popular, all the major food companies jump on the bandwagon -- and when that happens, it's wise to pay attention to what you are eating. Many manufacturers are trying to fool us, calling their products "wheat," which makes us think it's better for us than a loaf of Wonder's white. Most bread is made from wheat, so if it has that label, there is absolutely nothing new. Whole grains contain the entire grain kernel -- and that's what you should be after.

If you really want a whole grain cracker, cereal, bread, rice or pasta, the first ingredient listed should be whole rye, whole oats, whole wheat, whole barley, whole cornmeal or graham flour. If the list starts with "wheat" or "enriched wheat," drop the bag or box. This is not whole grain.

Nothing could be simpler.

Popcorn!

2011-04-06T05:32:00.003-04:00

Today is a special day: National Caramel Popcorn Day. If I wanted to celebrate -- and deep down I do -- I could really get into some serious trouble here. Caramel and butterscotch are my two favorite things in the world, held dearer than a bag of Twizzlers or a piece of cheesecake.

But Hungry Girl's tip today is to have a bag of Jolly Time Healthy Pop Caramel Apple microwave popcorn, which at only 3 PointsPlus per serving is a bargain.

The only reason I mention popcorn is that recently it has become my go-to food. Last night I was starved, and before dinner, I popped a bag and had it with a big glass of water. Jack thought I was crazy, but it filled me up and kept me from over-eating at dinner. When I eat a bag of popcorn, I feel as if I am eating something that is a treat, and for me, that helps me stay on a healthy eating track.

Since I recommitted to Weight Watchers a few weeks ago, a bag of Jolly Time is always in my pantry, at the ready when I need it most. Hungry Girl's tip today is a winner!

Diet tweaks

2011-04-05T12:44:00.001-04:00

SELF magazine recently wrote about some easy-to-do diet make-overs that can make a big impact on the scale. None are hard, just little tweaks here and there.

Tea
A study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition Women showed that women with the highest intake of catechins, antioxidants in tea that may accelerate fat burn, gained less weight over 14 years than those who didn’t drink tea. White and green leaves have the most catechins.

A.M. workouts
Exercising on an empty stomach in the morning improves glucose tolerance, which spurs your body to shed fat, says a study a study in The Journal of Physiology finds..

Eat breakfast
Lifelong early eaters have a waistline about 2 inches smaller than that of breakfast skippers, says the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Breakfast may boost metabolism and may cause you to make less of an enzyme that raises cholesterol.

Slow done
People who took 30 minutes to eat a bowl of ice cream created more fullness hormones than those who ate faster, says a study in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism. Turn off the TV and concentrate on what you are eating.

Make some habits
When mice ate at scheduled times and fasted for 12 hours at night, their liver turned on genes that burned more sugar and fat, say scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, California. Of course, those little mice had someone providing their meals, but it’s worth a shot.

Wonderful water
Research from Virginia Tech says that two cups of water taken before meals helped people lose about 5 pounds more than those who had no water. Water drinkers ate 75 to 90 calories less.

Step on the scale
It’s not necessary to weigh daily, but those who weighed at least weekly lost more weight than those who didn’t, according to research from the Minneapolis Heart Institute Foundation.

Lasagna!

2011-04-05T06:09:00.004-04:00

There's lasagna -- and then there's Hungry Girl's newest version. It's a white lasagna that uses one of my favorite cheeses, a Laughing Cow cheese wedge. I swear, when I am having a bad diet day, I reach for a few wedges of this cheese, spread it on some celery, and the combo is just enough to get me through until dinner.

Speaking of dinner, pass this lasagna! At 7 Weight Watchers PointsPlus per serving, it's just what the diet doctor ordered. Hungry Girl says it's white done right. I say anything with a white sauce that is not loaded with butter and high-fat cheese is something to smile about.
HG's Hungry Girlfredo White Lasagna3 medium zucchini, ends removed
1 cup fat-free ricotta cheese
2 large egg whites or 1/4 cup liquid egg whites
1 tsp. chopped garlic
1/4 tsp. dried oregano
1/4 tsp. dried basil
1/4 tsp. salt, divided
1/4 tsp. black pepper, divided
1 1/2 cups chopped mushrooms
2 cups chopped spinach
3/4 cup fat-free sour cream
4 wedges The Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss cheese
4 tbsp. reduced-fat Parmesan-style grated topping, divided
4 sheets oven-ready lasagna noodles (like the kind by Ronzoni)
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
Optional: additional salt and black pepperDirections:
* Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
* Slice zucchini in half widthwise, and then slice each half lengthwise into 1/4-inch thick strips. Set aside.
* In a medium bowl, combine ricotta cheese, egg whites, garlic, oregano, basil, 1/8 tsp. salt, and 1/8 tsp. black pepper. Stir well and set aside.
* Bring a skillet sprayed with nonstick spray to medium-high heat on the stove. Add mushrooms and, stirring occasionally, cook until softened, about 4 minutes. Add spinach and cook until spinach has wilted and excess moisture has evaporated, about 2 more minutes.
* Remove skillet from heat and let cool. Blot away excess moisture from veggies, using paper towels. Transfer contents to the bowl of ricotta mixture and set aside.
* Re-spray skillet and return to medium-high heat. Working in batches, cook zucchini until softened, about 2 minutes per side; remove skillet from heat and re-spray between batches. Set zucchini aside.
* To make the sauce, in a microwave-safe bowl, combine sour cream with cheese wedges, breaking cheese wedges into pieces as you add them. Stir in 2 tablespoons Parm-style topping, remaining 1/8 tsp. salt, and remaining 1/8 tsp. black pepper. Microwave for 30 to 45 seconds, until very warm. Stir until smooth and set aside.
* Spray an 8-inch square baking pan with nonstick spray. Evenly place 1/3rd of the cooked zucchini strips on the bottom. With a spoon or spatula, spread half of the ricotta-veggie mixture on top. Evenly top with 2 lasagna sheets, followed by 1/3rd of the sauce.
* Repeat layering with the same amounts of zucchini, ricotta-veggie mixture, lasagna sheets, and sauce. Evenly top with remaining zucchini, followed by remaining sauce. Sprinkle with mozzarella and remaining 2 tablspoons Parm-style grated topping.
* Bake in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, until cheese starts to brown.
* If you like, season to taste with additional salt and black pepper. Cut into four pieces.
* Makes 4 servings. Calories: 290; Fat: 6.5g; Sodium: 726mg; Carbs: 33g; Fiber: 3g; Sugars: 10g; Protein: 21.5g; PointsPlus: 7.

A to Zen

2011-04-04T06:42:00.004-04:00

I have a poster in my meditation called A to Zen -- Living One Day at a Time according to the Dalia Lama. I have read the 26 ways often, but what I haven't done is taken them one at a time.

Today, my morning e-meditation was about avoiding toxic people, the negative ones that zap your inner resolve, sucking the life, determination and self-love out of you faster than Superman's speeding bullet. And today, before I began morning yoga, I glanced at the poster, and the first step to Living One Day as a Time was: Avoid negative sources, people, places and habits.

Coincidence? I think not. Someone greater than me is sending a message. And believe me, it's a message I need right now.

I try very hard to remain positive and happy, because life really is worth living, and I would much rather do it with a smile on my face than a frown. But in some situations it is impossible to avoid negative people and situations. Today's messages cemented in my brain that since avoidance is impossible, I need to learn coping skills when faced with negativity.

Something else to work on, but it's a journey I need to take. Because when faced with difficult situations, one of the first things I turn to is FOOD. And I'm not talking fruits and vegetables here.

And that brings me to the Dalia Lama's thought: Avoid negative sources, people, places and habits. Seven powerful words. It's not only about people and places; he wants us to change our habits. And isn't that what losing weight is all about?

When confronted by negativity, the first thing I want is some comfort food loaded with calories. Today, when confronted with negativity, I intend to reach for some strawberries and cantaloupe while picturing my meditation room, a source of contentment and peace. At least I have a plan!

HUGE aha!

2011-04-01T04:00:00.000-04:00

Something deep within me clicked this week, and for the first time in my life, I know I am going to reach my goal weight. I've said this before, but when I did, I felt like a fraud.

Not today.

And the reason is simple, actually something I began to think about when I started this blog. The name -- Diet? Not Again! -- says it all. I had decided then that I really did not want to diet. Since then, the list of diets I have tried numbers seven. I told you I felt like a fraud.

So why -- and how -- now? It started a week ago Wednesday, when my Weight Watchers' leader, Annmarie, suggested I eat a piece of my daughter's birthday cake, but to put a PointsPlus value to that piece of strawberry shortcake. I had never before ever put a PP value on anything that is loaded with sugar. When I told her I had no idea what the value would be, she suggested I go online and do some research to find out. Long story short: I gave it a value of 15 -- half the amount of PointsPus I am allowed in a day. But I also have an extra 49 PointsPlus a week -- so I started counting. And guess what: I didn't even use all my 49 PointsPlus.

In the past, if I had eaten the piece of cake, it would have set me up for a night of eating. To me, my diet would be blown, so why not eat everything in sight? I would tell myself it would be just for a night, but that night would have stretched to another day, and perhaps the next week.

It wasn't until I weighed in Wednesday at Weight Watchers that reality smacked me in the face: I lost 3.4 pounds. In the back of my mind, I thought I had been "bad" last week, because I ate that cake. It was what consumed my thoughts all last week. Once I found out I lost weight, I checked my food diary for the week, and discovered that I had eaten within my PointsPlus every day, even the cake day when I used my extra PP. Somehow I had blocked out the great choices I made, instead choosing to focus on the one piece of cake. That's really sad.

Weight Watchers has evolved over the years. The empahsis now is on portion control, healthy eating and exercise. The fact that it is not a diet but a way of eating is stressed each week. In the past, I have internally laughed at the concept, calling it a diet by another name. Today, I embrace it. The reason is simple:
* I can't get away from food.
* I love food.
* I love to cook.
* I love to eat.

And here is the key:
No matter the week, there is always some event I will have that could stop a diet plan dead. But there is nothing that can ever stop me from making healthy food choices.

If I am somewhere and there really is nothing to eat except fried chicken and ambrosia salad, I will eat lightly, but more importantly, affix a numerical PointsPlus value to the food. Thin people all over the world make choices daily.

Plus, by not affixing a PP value to some foods, I was not holding myself accountable for eating the food. Instead, I was giving myself license to keep eating. I was running away from facing a big problem in my life; running away from problems never solves anything.

I know I am on the right track, and that I will stop yo-yo dieting forever.

And no, this is not an April Fool's joke. I have never EVER been more serious and determined.

Power of two -- or more!

2011-03-31T13:42:00.005-04:00

I am a perfect example of how great the buddy system works. August 1, 2010, I signed a contract with my friend, Ann, in which we both committed to exercising at least five times a week. Some would say we were nuts -- actually drawing up a formal contract and each of us signing it. But it meant something to each of us, and it's a contract we have honored for eight months now.

I really have to be injured not to exercise. And even after spraining my ankle a few weeks ago, and pinching a nerve in my neck last week, last night -- the first night I have felt yoga-ready in weeks -- I headed back to class at Yoga4Everybody in Fairfiled. And I was back again at 7 a.m. today to take another class. This morning, as I relaxed during the last asana, Savasana, I realized I had started to cry. That was how happy I felt to be back at the studio. A year ago, if I had a crystal ball, I would have thought I had crossed over into some dark, weird place.

Exercising is a way of life for me, and Ann as well.

Wednesday morning, the topic of Weight Watchers was the importance of finding a diet buddy. There I sat, with Ann on my right, husband Jack on my left, and all I kept thinking was, "How lucky can I be?"

I have the support I need to lose weight, both at home and when I am away from home. I could call on either one of them to talk me down from eating a package of Twizzlers. And either one would be more than willing to help out, would not utter a word of judgment, and would urge me to make another choice.

As I was sitting there in my meeting, I thought to myself that it really is time for me to stop fooling around with my weight loss journey. It is time to get real, and to finally shed the pounds I want to lose. I'm not happy being the weight I am now, so why, for heaven's sake, don't I do something about it?

For some odd reason, something clicked deep inside me this week. I think I know what it was, but I need to think about it some more today. Hopefully I'll figure it out by tomorrow morning so I can put it to words.

The saga continues

2011-03-28T06:29:00.004-04:00

When last I wrote, the topic was strawberry shortcake, a birthday cake for my daughter from the most decadent bakery ever to hit Fairfield, CT: Isabelle et Vincent. As soon as Isabelle showed me their handiwork on Saturday, I knew I was in trouble. I could throw all sorts of adjectives at this glorious cake, but perfect sums it up.

And perfect it was. Not like the American version of strawberry shortcake, this one had layers of cake so moist and thin they crumbled in your mouth. The cream was more a rich, pastry cream, and the strawberries, the best in any produce bunch.

I convinced my daughter-in-law to take half of the leftovers home, but since our daughter was going out for the night, half remained in our fridge. Jack was tired, so he went upstairs, while I stayed up, cleaning up the last odds and ends from our feast. It was me and the cake. And that leftover cake was calling my name. I swear I heard it.

I opened the fridge, and was about to dig into the leftovers with a fork that somehow miraculously appeared in my hand when all of a sudden something within me screamed, "Are you kidding?"

Before giving it a second thought, that perfect cake landed in the sink flushed down the garbage disposal. I wish I could say I left it in the fridge and fought temptation, but I can't. Maybe one of these days,; just not now. But I have to admit I was very proud of myself Saturday night.

A small triumph. Good for me.

Strawberry shortcake, cream on top!

2011-03-24T07:57:00.007-04:00

Yesterday morning I went back to Weight Watchers, although my heart was not in it. It turned out to be exactly what I needed.

The topic: What makes us stray from a healthy eating track and ways to get back on board. My new leader Annmarie -- who I had met once before -- must have sensed my unease with the topic because she focused on me. That was the best thing anyone could have done because she made me think about why I do what I do.

A few sentences was all she needed. I told her how some days I can be so good, and other days, so bad. Eureka! Annmarie reminded us all that healthy eating is not about being good or bad; that we should all banish those words from our vocabulary when we think about eating. Instead, we need to concentrate on eating good, nourishing foods, portion control and exercise. And yes, it's also about eating a slice of strawberry shortcake or a piece of chocolate every now and then, but when we do, factor those PointsPlus into our daily total. If we are out, as soon as we get home, we should try to locate nutritional values for what we just ate, and add them immediately to our daily totals.

It sounds so simple, but then, the most successful things in life usually are. She also asked me if there was a challenge I would be facing this week. Of course there is: my daughter's birthday. Kara has requested a strawberry shortcake from Isabelle et Vincent's, the most decadent french bakery to hit Fairfield, CT -- ever.

Annmarie told me I should have a piece of cake, but suggested a few things:
1. Cut pieces of cake for everyone else first, making sure each of those pieces are a good size -- unless someone asks for a sliver.
2. Cut my slice last, and make it small.
3. Place the rest of the cake out of reach.
4. Have containers ready, and as soon as I get up from the table, portion the remainder of the cake into the containers and be sure they go home with guests.

And then one, from a Weight Watcher like me: Make a huge bowl of strawberries and pineapples, fill my plate first with the fruit, leaving a bit of room for a small slice of cake. Since all fruit is 0 PointsPlus, leave that bowl in front of me, so if I am tempted to eat anymore cake, reach for the fruit instead. Of course, I could also skip the cake and top the fruit with Cool Whip.

It really is all about choices, planning, and living life to the fullest. I really can have my cake -- and eat it too. It's just the amount I eat that needs some tweaking.

Guilt!

2011-03-22T05:16:00.005-04:00

Karen has been my Weight Watchers leader -- off and on -- for more years than I care to admit. So when she gave it up last month, it became an issue for me.

I miss Karen and her sage advice, especially when I am in one of my diet "moods." So I emailed her yesterday, and once again, she gave me some words to ponder.

I asked her why I can be so good for so long, and then bam -- one day I wake up and start eating.

Karen, now speaking as what she calls a "civilian," says that when dieting, we eliminate things that we love eating -- something we can do for a time. Every now and then, Karen suggests you eat some of those non-diet foods. The key: You have to plan. Sure, it might extend your weight-loss journey, but it makes you happier.

"It may be slower but it helps manage any feelings of deprivation," Karen writes. "It seems to help me handle my portions and frequency of these kinds of things if I plan for them. I can look forward to them without the guilt."

It's the last word that hit me like a brick. Guilt. I sure have that when my eating is not stellar. And could it be the guilt that sends me into a dieting tizzy?

There are not enough shrinks in the world to make me understand my guilt. It comes from my childhood, growing up Catholic educated in a half Irish/Half Jewish neighborhood where everyone was guilty of some indiscretion daily -- usually more than once a day. In some odd way, it's comfort food for my soul. It's just that familiar. And we all know how comfort food can pack on the pounds.

I actually have never thought about how guilt has probably impacted my eating today. And I am certainly not going to dwell on it. Today, I am content to think about guilt, and to try to eliminate it from my being. It will probably be similar to cutting off my right arm, but hey, it's time to let go of that five-letter word.

It's time to stop feeling guilty. Guilt should be saved for the really bad things you do in life, certainly not eating a bag of Twizzlers. Instead, I will really try to plan for some diet bumps, recognize that they are part of life, and keep traveling down the good eating road. If I stay on course, I will eventually reach my goal. And if I eliminate guilt, when I get there, instead of being road weary, I will be wearing a big smile.

Guilt is not comfort; it is destructive.

So hard

2011-03-21T05:00:00.000-04:00

Anyone who says dieting is a snap has never dieted. And yes, although my blog's name is telling me not to diet, face facts: A healthy eating plan that makes you lose weight is a diet.

And right now, it's been near impossible for me to stay on my eating plan. I wake up each morning determined to eat great, and by noon, all best intentions are gone.

Yesterday, I even started to go though some diet books again, because yet again, I am desperate.

I am boring myself. How many Monday mornings do I have to sit at my computer angry at myself? I should know better. If for no other reason, I need to shed pounds so that maybe I can ditch my CPAP machine, the cure for my sleep apnea and the mask I dread doning nightly.

So today, yet again, I start anew. And today, I am going to do one thing: drink eight glasses of water. No magic here. Just common sense.

Hake: My new fave fish

2011-03-16T07:23:00.005-04:00

Thanks to Weight Watchers, I made the most amazing fish last night. So good, Jack said he wants it again -- high praise, believe me. And at 6 PointsPlus per serving, it fits in really well with my diet!

The recipe calls for cod, but Whole Foods had hake on sale yesterday, for the ridiculous price of $5.99 a pound. Hake, once called trash fish because no one wanted it, is really a wonderfully sweet, white fish. As fish prices keep going up, hake really can do great things for your food budget, and if you like cod, halibut, pollock of haddock, you'll love hake. I served it with brown rice and a saute of sugar snaps, scallions, garlic and ginger. I poured the extra sauce from the fish on the rice to power the taste up a notch.

MISO-GLAZED COD
1 1/2 lbs. cod, or other white sauce
1/4 cup miso paste
2 Tblsp. dark brown sugar
2 Tblsp. mirin
1 Tblsp ginger root, (I doubled the amount since I love ginger)
1 Tblsp. dark sesame oil
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar

* Place fish, skin-side down, in a broiler-proof pan.

* Place miso, sugar, mirin, ginger, oil and vinegar in a blender; blend until smooth. Pour glaze over cod and marinate in refrigerator for at least 30 minutes and up to 1 hour.

* Preheat broiler to high.

* Broil fish until topping turns golden brown and starts to caramelize, and fish is no longer translucent in middle, about 8 to 10 minutes. Makes 4 servings.

Who am I?

2011-03-15T06:09:00.003-04:00

I'm reading Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga" very slowly, because I really am trying to absorb everything he is putting forth. Today, I read a page, and then meditated on it for 15 minutes.

Chopra instructs that you close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and then ask yourself every 15 seconds "Who am I?"

Of course the first things that popped into my mind were wife, mother, grandmother, my job. Question No. 6 was the one that almost made me cry because my answer was "serial dieter." And I am. Have been for more than four decades. How sick is this?

It makes me want to beat some sense into my thick brain.

Yesterday I admitted that last weekend, I wanted to eat EVERYTHING that wasn't nailed down, and unfortunately I did. Yesterday was a repeat of the weekend: I wanted to eat EVERYTHING again, but resisted the urge. Yesterday was miserable, because the battle within -- raging between Palin, my bad inner girl, and Hebzabah, the one who only eats well -- was extreme. After dinner, the girls in the family wanted ice cream, and Jack was almost on his way to the store when I told him I didn't want any. That broke the spell, and instead, I had a cup of tea and a Weight Watchers pop, which at 4 PointsPlus, fit into my daily total.

I woke up today with a smile on my face. And the first thing I did was pray that the battle within will not be as fierce as it was yesterday.

Aching knees!

2011-03-14T07:06:00.004-04:00

We all have our reasons for losing weight: Clothes that fit, better health, more energy.

All good reasons. But here's another: A low body weight is vital for healthy joints in our lower body. For every extra pound of body weight we lug around, our hips and knee joints suffer five times the impact. Five extra pounds adds 25 pounds of impact every time you take a step.

I want to lose 35 pounds, which would mean my knees and hips would thank me for losing 175 pounds of impact. Too much to comprehend.

But I love that 5-pound figure. So that's my new goal. By the end of April, I will lose 5 pounds, but internally I will process that number as 25 pounds. When June 1st comes around, my total will be 10 -- but actually 50. I can easily do 5 pounds a month. And if I look at it this way, by Nov. 1, I will be at goal weight. That's just in time to turn my clothes over to all-winter outfits. And when I do, I will pack up my fat clothes, and off they will go to Goodwill.

Another great concept: A closet filled with one-size clothes.

What's wrong with me?

2011-03-14T06:42:00.005-04:00

I've been asking myself this question all weekend. I've been in an out-of-control eating pattern, and absolutely nothing I did got me back on track.

And I have no excuse. The sun was shining, the snow has melted, and if I wanted, I could have taken a long walk.

I could blame it on my slightly sprained ankle, which has been hurting for about four weeks now. Not enough to make me limp, but enough to hurt when I walk. But this really is not an excuse because I CAN WALK. And I could go to the yoga study, but I've been afraid I would re-injure it. I have been doing my home practice, and that helps, but it's not enough.

My sprained ankle happened at the same time my walking buddy had foot surgery, so I've used this all as an excuse. And one excuse became another excuse until I find myself today, really not too happy with me.

So I have two choices: One, to continue doing what I have been doing, or two, to recommit to healthy eating and exercise. I'm choosing the latter.

Today, it's a new day, time to stop looking back and start looking ahead.

And here's my plan:
1. To write down everything that passes my lips.
2. To do a little exercise - maybe the one-mile walk with my buddy Leslie Sansone.
3. To drink lots of water today.

So I'm back to baby steps. But just writing this down is cathartic. And renewing. I have a plan. Now all I have to do is stick to it.

Water

2011-03-11T05:47:00.003-05:00

There was a time when I had no problem drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water each day. Recently, if I make four glasses I think I did well.

But do I really need that much? Complicated answer.

Daily, we lose water through our breath, perspiration, urine and bowel movements. For your body to function properly, you must replenish its water supply by consuming beverages and foods that contain water.

Heinz Valtin, MD, an emeritus professor at Dartmouth Medical School in Hanover, N.H., and an expert on hydration, wrote in the Journal of Physiology that there is no evidence that supports drinking eight glasses of water a day.

The Mayo Clinc tweaks this rule by saying we should drink eight 8-ounce glasses of fluids a day, since all fluids count toward the daily total. Mayo, like Dr. Valtin, says there is no scientific data to support the fact that we do need this much water, although they say it is an easy rule to remember and can serve as a guideline. With this guideline, coffee and tea would count to our fluid total.

The Institute of Medicine ups this rule a tad, advising men consume roughly 3 liters (about 13 cups) of total beverages a day and women consume 2.2 liters (about 9 cups) of total beverages a day.

Here's Mayo's rule: If you drink enough fluid so that you rarely feel thirsty and produce 1.5 liters (6.3 cups) or more of colorless or slightly yellow urine a day, your fluid intake is probably adequate.

I'm not about to measure my urine, but I will try to up my water intake because it keeps me full. In the middle of the day, when I could eat anything in sight, often a large glass of water might be all I need.

My main problem: I have to remember to reach for the water first before reaching for Twizzlers.

Baked Potato soup: Yum!

2011-03-09T06:58:00.004-05:00

It was my turn to cook our Monday night family dinner -- a weekly tradition that gets us together with two of our children and their spouses. Monday night dinners are sacrosanct -- you better have a real good reason for not attending.

This week I wanted to try something new, and Baked Potato Soup sounded so warm and inviting. It was a hit, and something I plan on making over and over again. At at 7 Weight Watchers PointsPlus per serving, I think it's a diet bargain. For our group of six, I doubled the recipe -- and it all went.

BAKED POTATO SOUP 1 large garlic bulb, 1/4-inch-slice cut off top
3 lbs. uncooked potatoes, rinsed, pierced with a fork (about 6 large baking potatoes)
6 slices uncooked turkey bacon
4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 1/2 Tblsp. fresh thyme, chopped
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
6 Tblsp. reduced-fat sour cream
6 Tblsp. low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
6 Tbsp scallion(s), sliced
* Preheat oven to 400ºF. Wrap entire garlic bulb tightly in foil; place garlic and potatoes in oven. (You do not need to put them on a pan; they can go right on an oven rack.)
* Bake garlic until soft when squeezed, about 45 minutes; remove from oven and let cool. Continue baking potatoes until tender when pierced, about 15 minutes more; let potatoes stand until cool enough to handle.
* Meanwhile, cook bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until browned, about 6 minutes. Place bacon on paper towels to drain off any fat; chop bacon.
* Unwrap garlic and squeeze pulp from bulb with hands into a large saucepan. Peel potatoes and add to saucepan; mash with a potato masher until smooth. Gradually stir in broth, thyme, salt and pepper until blended; place saucepan over medium heat and cook until hot, stirring occasionally, about 5 to 10 minutes.
* Spoon about 1 1/3 cups of soup into each of 6 soup bowls. Top each with 1 tablespoon of sour cream, 1 tablespoon of cheese, 1 rounded tablespoon of bacon and 1 tablespoon of scallions. Grind fresh pepper over top if desired. Makes 6 servings.

Willpower

2011-03-09T06:29:00.004-05:00

When did willpower become a dirty word, so not PC? I think it's an outgrowth of our inability to take responsibility for our actions. It's just easier to blame our added weight on our moms, our husbands, our lives.

Today, I take absolute responsibility for my weight. My mom might have caused me to have some body issues, but my mother died 19 years ago and my thinking about what she did does me no good. Get over it, get a backbone, and get on with life.

My lack of being able to stay true to a diet plan is my fault, not mom's. I did this to myself. I just like food too much.

Which gets me back to the "W' word. Personally, I think it makes a powerful statement. Willpower is having the strength to act in pursuing a goal. It's all about self-discipline, something else dieters are sometimes told to ignore. I think willpower and self-control is exactly what I should be striving for. Of course, the danger here is that when I go off track, my negative internal voices will tell me I am a failure with absolutely no willpower.

So here are my new two tricks for boosting my willpower.
1. I named my negative and positive voices early last month. It's much easier for me to shoot down a negative voice when I am picturing my negative voice (Palin), saying the words. When I remember to conjure up Palin, I am able to shut down my negative voice. I need to work on this, so it becomes second nature.
2. Just say no. I hated that easy solution Nancy Reagan thought would cure drug addiction, but when it comes to food, a few internal "NOs" screamed in my mind might just snap me out of an eating binge.

I really think it's time to get tough with myself.

Imaginary "friends"

2011-03-08T05:31:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, I named my negative internal voice Pallin, my positive voice Hepzabah. But midday, just when I was about to eat something I shouldn't, I started thinking Pallin, and avoided temptation.

So now Pallin has just become my inner BAD voice, the one that tells me I really want that chocolate chip cookie. Yesterday it was Pallin -- in her oh so annoying voice -- telling me to eat that cookie, and since there is no way I would ever do what Pallin advised, I ate some grapes instead.

Could it be this easy? Probably not. But it certainly gave me pause yesterday because it worked. Will it work all the time? Probably not, but that's OK since I am not into perfection. But I am so into tricks, and as long as this works for me, I will use it. Over and over again.

The key for me was identifying a person whose ideas I abhor and make her my inner voice of "unreason." I disagree with just about everything she stands for, so why would I ever follow her advice when she's telling me to eat chocolate chip cookies? I put a face to my inner tormentor, and yesterday I loved the result.

And of course, there is no worry that I might start talking to myself. The least amount of time I spend with Sarah P, the happier I will be!

Meet Pallin and Hebzabah

2011-03-07T06:08:00.004-05:00

Last week I was renewed, determined to stay on track and start seriously shedding pounds. Then the weekend came, and my resolve flew away.

Why can't I be trusted to stay on track, to avoid cheesecake and lemon squares, to just say no to temptation when it's put in front of me?

And when I ate the cheesecake and lemon squares, did that make me happy? Sure they were yummy, but did they make me happy? Of course not. Yet again, I was angry at myself, and the negative voice started taking over, telling me what a failure I am.

And no matter how hard I tried to tell the negative voice to go away, she was there to stay, invading my thoughts, so instead of getting up Sunday morning determined to eat well, I had some more lemon squares Sunday afternoon. And a brownie, because the person passing them out made me feel guilty for first saying no.

Today I woke up and reality smacked me in the face. I am my worst enemy, the one who sabotages my good intentions. I am giving away my power to either food or someone who wants me to eat food. How sad. And although I have danced around this knowledge for years, this morning it is making sense to me.

If I am really going to fight my battle of the bulge, it has to come from deep within me, because deep within is my the desire to lose weight -- once and for all. And deep within is that positive voice, the one who encourages me to make good food choices. I just have to find and embrace her, so when cheesecake and lemon squares are put in front of me, she is gently whispering in my ear that I am better them those sweets, that I can say no, and if I do, I will wake up the next day happy and certainly healthier.

Today, I named my negative voice Pallin. And my positive voice is Hepzabah, a pet name my father called me when I was a child. I cringe when I say Pallin, and smile when I say Hepzabah, so this should work.

It's all about becoming the master of my universe. It's time to tap into the power within me. I know it's there. I also know that it wants what's best for me.

Kismet

2011-03-03T07:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I wrote about the dangers of boredom and lethargy. Put them together, and I want to eat everything in sight.

So I was amused yesterday when I got to Weight Watchers and the topic dealt with boredom: How eating the same thing or exercising the same way day after day can be a recipe for disaster. Boy did that hit home.

Our leader cautioned us to avoid the food ruts, exactly what I have been doing. OK, I mix it up nightly, but during the day, it's the same old same old day after day. Oatmeal with an apple, chia seeds, cinnamon and coconut milk for breakfast; usually a grapefruit mid-morning; green salad for lunch -- and recently, I've even skipped the chicken, so no protein on the salad -- and an apple and popcorn treat before dinner. It's good and nutritious, but I am SO in a rut.

Since I do yoga, no one class is ever the same. And even if all classes were identical, I love yoga so much I don't think I would mind.

But food: another thing entirely. I really thought about what my new WW leader, Ann Marie, said yesterday, and this weekend, the first thing I am going to do is get out my cookbooks and start planning 21 meals for next week, all a tad different from each other. Life is all about choices, and this week, it's all about getting what I need to keep me on track.

Hungry or just jonesing?

2011-03-02T06:58:00.002-05:00

I used the term "starving" yesterday, and it stopped me cold. Was I really starving? Of course not. Was I really hungry? I actually don't think so. At the time I was a tad bored, a bit tired, and when I really thought about what I wanted, it wasn't a salad or a piece of fruit. I wanted Twizzlers.

So what is hunger? I've done some research and found out it's caused by a drop in blood sugar about four or five hours after you eat a meal. It really is my tummy's way of saying: "Feed me!" Sometimes, hunger might manifest itself in a headache or exhaustion.

When I was "starving" yesterday, it was about an hour after I ate a grilled chicken salad. There was no way I should have been even hungry. But it would have been so easy for me to fall off my diet wagon if there was a package of Twizzlers around. There was not, so I put a bag of Jolly Time in the microwave. I ate every kernel, and enjoyed each one.

So what exactly are cravings? Again, they can be caused by a dip in blood sugar, especially if you eat a meal loaded with highly processed carbs. Yesterday, this was not the case, so it had to be something else.

Boredom. And I was tired. Put the two together and my defenses drop to an all-time low. The key here: I actually took the time to identify what my problem was, and did something to fix it. That bag of popcorn cost me 3 Weight Watchers PointsPlus. It also got me to stop thinking about food. I was no longer "starving." Instead, I was extremely pleased with myself.

Lesson here: No. 1: Listen to my body; it is very wise. And No. 2: Prepare for hunger, cravings, starvation, whatever I am calling it. Have a variety of fast foods at the ready, so when hunger strikes, and it's not yet mealtime, I can eat something that won't immediately go to my hips. Fruit, veggies, popcorn, yogurt, celery spread with a low-fat Laughing Cow wedge: All good choices. Water or tea can also help.

Super markets!

2011-03-01T07:34:00.003-05:00

Recently, as gas and food prices have started escalating yet again, I started to think about ways I could save some money at the store. Forget about coupons: I have never mastered the art, and besides, most of the food products I buy never have coupons attached.

But I do have some shopping rules:
1. I NEVER set foot in a market is when I am hungry. When I do, somehow the worst things wind up in my basket. A few times recently I have had no choice but to shop hungry, and that’s when my emergency car stash came in handy. I always have an apple in the car. Usually, there is some celery as well. Both items hold up well to a few days without refrigeration, and besides, I usually eat them way before either would start to turn. Usually that works. Recently, it just wasn’t enough. So I made sure to pick up a bunch of bananas, and as soon as I hit the car, I ate a banana. That did it for me. What you pick is your choice.
2. Each weekend I plan our meals for the week, make a shopping list, and stick to it. I shop once a week, which keeps me out of the market during the week, out of the way of temptation.
3. I love my husband, but I find him distracting in the market. I spend a lot of time in the produce section, and Jack gets antsy. So unless it is a necessity, I shop alone. The worst place to shop with him: Costco. I really can get lost in that big box. Jack can get through the warehouse in seconds flat. I need time to stop and see what’s offered.
4. I always have my Weight Watchers PointsPlus calculator with me, so if a new food looks inviting, I figure out the PPs to see if it’s worth the splurge. It’s amazing how two similar products really are nothing alike. Take popcorn, my go-to snack when I am hungry in the middle of the day. Like my morning chia seeds, popcorn expands in my stomach and fills me up. Jolly Time’s Healthy Pop – a full size bag – is my favorite because for 3 PPs, it offers double the amount of popcorn than the mini bags, at the same PPs value. What a bargain.
5. I have my list, but if turkey breast cutlets are on sale when I get to the market, I easily substitute them for chicken breasts. Same with fish. I shop the deals, because at the register, a deal here and a deal there starts adding up to big savings.
6. I buy lots of fruits and vegetables, but I always buy them whole. I don’t mind cutting up veggie sticks or cutting up a pineapple. It takes minutes and saves cash.
7. I tend to stay out of the aisles, shopping the perimeter of the market, a trick I learned 20 years ago on a nutritionist-led tour of a supermarket. Of course, items such as oatmeal, beans, teas and seltzer are in the aisles, but it’s here you find the bad stuff as well, the processed, over-sugared foods I try to avoid. If I am tempted, I whip out my PP calculator and within seconds my temptation usually disappears.
8. Twice a week we eat vegetarian. It might be something as simple as baked potatoes with toppings or a frittata, but these lighter meals are doing wonders for our budget. We eat fish two or three times a week, which leaves two meals for beef, pork or chicken.

Kinda normal

2011-02-25T05:00:00.000-05:00

I had a weird thing happen at work Wednesday. First, let me explain that I had been really dedicated this week to eating within my Weight Watchers PointsPlus.

But Wednesday afternoon, my boss came back from lunch with treats for us all: Nestle Crunch Ice Cream Pops. Of course, I could not say no. How could I hurt her feelings?

Besides, I really wanted to eat the pop.

But before I did, I whipped out my handy PP calculator, figured out the pop was only 5 PP, and decided I could easily fit it into my day's total. I ate that pop, little bite by little bite, drawing out the pleasure for at least 15 minutes.

And when I finished the pop, I thought to myself: "So this is what normal feels like."

What a feeling!

Embrace this!

2011-02-24T07:31:00.001-05:00

David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., Ph.D., author of “Anticancer, A New Way of Liofe,” recently posted his food rules on the Huffington Post. Because cancer runs rampant in my family, I plan on taking his action plan to heart – and passing it on to my kids. In this fmaily, we need all the help we can get. In a nutshell, Dr. Servan-Schreiber’s rules follow. I especially love the last one, because hey, I’m human!
1. Your main course should be 80 percent vegetables, 20 percent animal protein.
2. Vary the vegetables you eat, or mix them together. For example, broccoli is an effective anticancer food, and is even more effective when combined with tomato sauce, onions or garlic. Make it a habit to add onions, garlic or leeks to all your dishes as you cook.
3. Choose organic foods, but remember it's always better to eat broccoli that's been exposed to pesticides than to not eat broccoli.
4. Cook with turmeric and black pepper. Turmeric is the most powerful natural anti-inflammatory agent. Also add thyme, oregano, basil, rosemary, marjoram, mint – all which can help reduce the growth of cancer cells.
5. Potatoes contain high levels of pesticide residue and raise blood sugar, which can feed inflammation and cancer growth. Skip them.
6. Eat fish two or three times a week - sardines, mackerel, and anchovies have less mercury and PCBs than bigger fish like tuna. Avoid swordfish and shark -- high concentration of contaminants.
7. Choose only omega-3 eggs, or don't eat the yolks. Hens are now fed on mostly corn and soybeans, and their eggs contain 20 times more pro-inflammatory omega-6 fatty acids than cell-growth regulating omega-3s.
8. Use only olive and canola oil in cooking and salad dressings. Throw out your soybean, corn and sunflower oils -- too rich in omega-6 fatty acids.
9. Eat your grains whole and mixed (wheat with oats, barley, spelt, flax, etc.) and choose organic whole grains since pesticides tend to accumulate on whole grains. Avoid refined, white flour, and eat white pasta only al dente.
10. Eat fruits instead of sugary desserts, sodas and fruit juices. Steer clear of products that list any type of sugar (including brown sugar, corn syrup, etc.) in the first three ingredients. Craving something sweet? Try a few squares of dark chocolate containing more than 70% cocoa.
11. Instead of coffee or black tea, drink three cups of green tea per day, decaffeinated green tea if caffeine you too wired.
12. Make room for exceptions. What matters is what you do on a daily basis, not the occasional treat.

Incredible eggs

2011-02-23T05:48:00.003-05:00

I have never been one for big breakfasts. But breakfast for dinner: Now you're talking. To me, that's comfort food at its best.

The following recipe from Weight Watchers has become a once-a-week meal in our house this winter. It's easy to throw together as soon as I get home, and the result: Absolutely yummy.

I substitute Trader Joe's habanero lime wraps for the whole wheat wraps in the recipe for a bit of welcome spice. We like things hot, so if you want to tone it down a bit, use whole wheat. Whatever you do, give this a try.

BREAKFAST ENCHILADA
2 sprays cooking spray
2 tsp olive oil
2 medium scallions, chopped
1 small green pepper, seeded and chopped
1 medium tomato, chopped
2 cloves garlic cloves, minced
4 large egg whites
2 large eggs
1/2 cup low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
2 Tbsp cilantro, fresh, chopped
1/4 tps. salt
1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
4 medium whole wheat tortillas
1/2 cup fat-free sour cream
1/2 cup salsa, medium or hot variety
* Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat a shallow baking dish with cooking spray.
* Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add scallions, green pepper, tomato and garlic; sauté 5 minutes.
* Add egg whites and whole eggs; cook until eggs are scrambled, about 3 minutes.
* Remove skillet from heat and stir in cheese, cilantro, salt and black pepper.
* Place a tortilla on a flat surface; spoon 1/4 of egg mixture onto center of tortilla and roll up tortilla. Fill remaining tortillas with remaining egg mixture, then place tortillas side-by-side in prepared baking dish; lightly coat with cooking spray.
* Bake until golden brown and tortilla ends are slightly crisp, about 10 minutes. Serve with sour cream and salsa spooned over top. Per serving: 1 enchilada, 2 tablespoons of sour cream and 2 tablespoons of salsa per serving. 6 PointsPlus.

Let's hear it for fiber!

2011-02-22T05:00:00.000-05:00

I am always searching for new ways to add fiber to my diet. Fiber is the wonder substance: it keeps blood sugar levels even and helps in the fight against cancer and heart disease. And when you are dieting, it just might keep your pipes clean, if you get my drift.

I found a post on everydayhealth.com suggesting some fiber-rich foods we should all be eating. And since I love each one, I think I just might follow the advice.

1. Apple and their skin pack twice as much fiber as other common fruit. With the skin, there is 3.5g of fiber; peeled, there is only 1.7g. Here’s an idea if you don’t want to eat the skin: Eat two.
2. Artichokes contain 10g fiber and more potassium than a banana.
3. Avocado: so many of us avoid these gems because they are high in fat. But it’s monounsaturated fat, which is also found in olive oil and macadamias. It is also high in fiber – 11 to 17g per fruit – half a day’s worth of fiber.
4. Barley is packed with fiber throughout each kernel. A half-cup contains 4g of fiber, helps regulate cholesterol and keeps blood sugar levels even.
5. Beans: A half cup of navy beans packs 10g fiber; baked beans, lentils, black beans, pinto and garbanzo have between 7.5 and 9g.
6. Broccoli: 2g in 1 cup, plus 2g protein, 288 mg of potassium and 43 mg of calcium.
7. Oatmeal and high-fiber cereals have at least 5g fiber per serving. A great way to start the day.
8. Papaya: One cup has only 55 calories and 2.5 grams of fiber, plus nutrients such as potassium, calcium and vitamins C and A, and lots of digestive enzymes.
9. Berries -- especially raspberries – which has 64 calories per cup and 8g fiber. Berries also contain polyphenols and anthocyanins, powerful plant chemicals that help fight cancer, reduce inflammation, and ease the symptoms of arthritis.
10. Pumpkin: It's not only for Halloween. Each cup has only 49 calories and 2.5g fiber, in addition to 565 mg potassium and more than 2,400 mcg of the carotenoids lutein and zeaxanthin, which help keep your eyes healthy and your vision sharp.

If only...

2011-02-18T05:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was one of those perfect days. I was totally in control, never once had an urge to eat anything that I shouldn't, and felt so happy and calm throughout the day.

I wrote pages in my journal yesterday, trying to figure out why yesterday was so great, and the day before one of those days I could have eaten a house.

Just before I went to bed, I had a eureka moment: There is absolutely no explanation. Some days you feel great. Other days you want to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed.

It's normal to have good eating days and not-so-good ones. The key: When you have a "bad" day, don't let it start you on a path of nonsense eating. Instead, wake up the next day determined to make it the best day possible. And soon, the good days really will crowd out the not-so-good ones.

Mind over matter

2011-02-17T06:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a horrid day. If left to my own devices, I would have eaten everything in sight. I didn't. But I could have.

I HATE days like yesterday, when all I do is fight with myself. Good Val yells at bad Val, and then bad Val yells louder ('cause she can), and usually wins out.

On my drive home last night, I almost drove into one market for some Twizzlers. Instead, I decided to try the visualization technique I wrote about yesterday. As I was driving by market No. 1 -- and market No. 2 a mile away -- I was mentally eating my 30 Twizzlers sticks, one by one. At one point, I could almost taste the Twizzlers, probably because I have eaten so many of them in my lifetime the taste is firmly cemented in my mind.

After "eating" my Twizzler snack, I then started to tell myself that as soon as I got home, I would head for my meditation room for some grounding. I almost made a stop at the TV, but instead, headed upstairs and did some yoga and deep breathing. Around 7:30, I had calmed myself enough to eat a terrific dinner.

Yesterday was a success. But it also reinforced to me that I am so not over my demons. I know why they popped up yesterday; somehow, that doesn't make it any easier for me.

But I used two tricks I had learned, and they worked. Mind over matter. I pray today is better.

A miracle!

2011-02-16T06:00:00.003-05:00

Right now, I am visualizing eating 30 Twizzlers sticks. Weird huh? But this simple technique could just make me eat less food and stop my craving for Twizzlers. Could this be the magic bullet I need to shed unwanted pounds?

In a recent study at Carnegie Mellon University, published in Science, they divided a group into three:
* Group A visualized eating 30 M&Ms (easy!), and putting 3 quarters into a washing machine.
* Group B visualized eating 3 M&Ms (impossible), and putting 30 quarters into a washing machine.
* Group C imagined inserting 33 quarters into a washing machine (no M&Ms!).

This is the part I love: All study groups were then told to eat as many M&Ms as they wanted. And guess which group ate less M&Ms? Those that visualized eating 30 M&Ms.

Visualization is the key here. The study found that merely thinking about food does nothing. But when you visualize eating the food, you eat less. The researchers call this habituation — a gradual reduction in motivation to eat more of the food. If it works, I call this a miracle.

Joachim Vosgerau, assistant professor at Carnegie Mellon and one of the study leads, explains: "Habituation is one of the fundamental processes that determine how much we consume of a food or a product, when to stop consuming it, and when to switch to consuming another food or product. Our findings show that habituation is not only governed by the sensory inputs of sight, smell, sound and touch, but also by how the consumption experience is mentally represented. To some extent, merely imagining an experience is a substitute for actual experience. The difference between imagining and experiencing may be smaller than previously assumed."

I sort of tried this out. I say sort of, because it's 5 a.m., not the usual time I start craving Twizzlers. But I closed my eyes, imagined myself opening the package, and eating 30 Twizzler sticks -- more than my daily allotment of PointsPlus. I ate each one bite by bite, and I really have no desire to eat any Twizzlers. But again, it's 5 a.m. I can't wait to try this the next time a Twizzlers bag is calling my name.

Hello, me!

2011-02-14T06:38:00.004-05:00

I am finally beginning to understand some of my eating trigger points. I also finally understand that if I am going to lose weight -- and keep it off -- I have to discover why I eat poorly.

My reasons for over-eating make sense: boredom, fatigue, stress and wine, the latter which causes my defenses to relax. But now that I have identified the causes, it really is so much easier to face -- and fight -- them when they pop up.

My No. 1 defense against over-eating is my journal. What started as a place to write the food I eat and the PointsPlus I consume has become my third eye into ME. My journal keeps me honest because I am writing everything down, including my emotions. Before I head to the store for a bag of Twizzlers, I calmly sit down, take stock of me, and ask myself why Twizzlers are calling my name. If I do eat those Twizzlers, I again make sure I write down how I am feeling.

I also read past entries daily. Each page has a colored check: yellow for great days; blue for the not-so-good days. On days when I need extra help, I turn to the yellow-checked days. When I am having a great day, I read the blue-checked pages to understand myself just a tad more.

My other new line of defense is to keep myself distracted. At the top of my house I have created a meditation room, and on days when I could eat everything in sight, I make a bee-line for my special space. Some days I just breathe, other days I do some yoga, and some days I just sit quietly and meditate. Just divorcing myself from whatever was making me think about food is usually sufficient to get me back on track.

My third key: I am cooking terrific meals, mixing it up daily so I won't get bored.

Have I been perfect? Of course not. But little by little, I am taking the necessary baby steps.

Recipe time!

2011-02-10T06:12:00.003-05:00

Just what we all need: Another chicken recipe! But this one, which comes from Hungry Girl, looks too good to pass up. It's perfect for a romantic dinner for two -- or to double or triple for company.

I love chicken rolls for a crowd: Make them in advance, and pop them in the oven when your guests arrive. This recipe uses one of my favorite diet stand-bys, Laughing Cow light cheese wedges, which have kept me on track so many times. When I get really hungry, I spread one or two wedges on celery sticks and eat away. Each wedge has only 35 calories -- and one Weight Watchers PointsPlus -- a real diet bargain.

Now for the recipe. I know what I'm cooking for Valentine's Day.
CHICKEN AMORE!
1 large portobello mushroom cap, sliced
2 5-oz. raw boneless skinless lean chicken breast cutlets, pounded 1/2-inch thick
1/8 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. black pepper
1/8 tsp. garlic powder
2 wedges Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss cheese
1/3 cup jarred roasted red peppers, drained
6 large leaves fresh basil
1/2 cup Amy's Organic Light in Sodium Chunky Tomato Bisque
1/4 cup fat-free sour cream
1/8 tsp. Italian seasoning
* Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
* Bring a skillet sprayed with nonstick spray to medium-high heat on the stove. Add mushroom slices and cook until softened, about 6 minutes, flipping slices about halfway through cooking. Remove from heat and set aside.
* Season chicken cutlets with salt, black pepper and garlic powder. Lay cutlets flat with the length running left to right. Spread a cheese wedge over each cutlet and evenly top with red peppers and basil. Place mushroom slices horizontally over the basil.
* Tightly roll each chicken cutlet from the bottom and around the filling; secure with toothpicks. Place chicken rolls in a baking pan sprayed with nonstick spray.
* Cover the pan with foil, and bake in the oven for 20 minutes.
* Carefully remove foil and return pan to the oven, uncovered, to bake until chicken is cooked through, about 15 minutes.
* Meanwhile, to make the sauce, combine tomato bisque, sour cream, and Italian seasoning in a microwave-safe bowl. Mix well.
* Once chicken is fully cooked, microwave sauce for 1 minute, and then stir well. Remove toothpicks from chicken rolls, plate them, and evenly cover with sauce.
* Makes 2 servings. Per serving: 271 calories, 4.5g fat, 720mg sodium, 13.5g carbs, 1g fiber, 8.5g sugars, 37.5g protein, 6 Weight Watchers PointsPlus.

Why am I so hungry?

2011-02-09T06:15:00.007-05:00

When I think of the past month, the first word that pops into my mind is SNOW, quickly followed by cold, dark and damp.

And I wonder why I am hungry most of the time? Bears know what to do when winter hits. What's wrong with humans? The idea of sleeping the winter away is really attractive.

But I'm not a bear, so last night's Weight Watchers talk was just what I needed: When hunger strikes, what can you do instead of eating? The challenge is to come up with 10 quick fixes that will take you from eating everything in sight to staying in control. It seems like this should be a snap to throw together; take it from me, it's not. Sure, I could have thought of 10 things, but would they really work for me?

Some of the ideas thrown out last night included taking a walk or taking a bath. My bath tub is huge -- I could eat my pantry in the time it would take me to fill the tub. As for the walk: A walk in my icy neighborhood right now would end with a trip to the hospital. Although I will tuck that thought away for when -- and if -- spring ever arrives.

Since I can only come up with three ideas, I'm obviously still working on my list. But I think it's important enough to keep thinking about. After all, I wouldn't go on vacation without a suitcase full of clothes. Isn't it wise to prepare for the worst?

1. STARE: I'll stare at the food I am about to consume in huge amounts. Really stare at it, all the while thinking: It's you or me, baby. Hopefully I will be the stronger than a lifeless object, no matter how yummy it may look.
2. SIP: Grab a bottle of flavored seltzer and sip it until it is at least half done. That alone should take me 20 minutes, the time it takes for my tummy to tell my brain I am full.
3. POP: Have a bag of Jolly Time popcorn -- 3 PointsPlus -- always ready at home or work. That and a bottle of seltzer really should do the trick.

I only need seven more....

Let it go

2011-02-07T05:00:00.000-05:00

Last week's Weight Watcher session dealt with forgiving yourself and moving on after a day -- or days -- of bad food choices. This is perhaps one of the most important keys we all have to learn if we're ever going to shed weight permanently.

This is exactly the message that Geneen Roth preaches in her latest bestseller, "Women God and Food." She says it differently, but it all comes down to a few points: Turn off the voices inside your head that love to scream negatives at you, and be kind to yourself. Understand that life is all about ups and downs, and although you might eat horridly one day, wake up the next morning with new resolve, recommit to healthy eating, and get on with life.

So what if it takes you a year to shed all the weight you want? First, we all know a year goes by in a flash. And second, even more importantly, if you spread the journey out, you honestly will have greater success, because along the way, you might just bump into the person you want to become.

Energy to spare

2011-02-04T05:00:00.000-05:00

Until three weeks ago, I always drank two cups of coffee a day. And once I finished my coffee, I would move on to tea, drinking about a cup each hour. That stopped a few weeks ago, when I realized I was thinking about what kind of tea I would make myself once I finished my coffee.

Duh! Why was I drinking coffee when I was dreaming abou tea? Another habit gone.

I still get a dose of caffeine, but not in the amount I was getting from the coffee.
I have just as much energy as I did when I was drinking coffee, plus I am sleeping so much better.

Today, I read an article on SparksPeople, about foods that will give you just as much get-up-and-go as a cup of coffee. They list 10 foods with one thing in common: heavy on carbs, which is our body's preferred energy source. The key, they say, is to keep carb levels on an even keel to avoid sugary spiike.

That means eating more frequent,smaller meals, since blood sugar drops four hours after eating. We need to concentrate on low-fat, high-fiber foods and complex carbs, which are broken down slowly and steadily. The result: Energy throughout the day. So what are these 10 super foods:

1. Whole wheat pasta
2. Oatmeal
3. Fruit smoothies made with low-fat yogurt
4. Peanut butter
5. Dried fruit (apricots, cranberries, raisins, figs)
6. Yams
7. Beans
8. Apples
9. Carrots
10. Chickpeas

And some more tips:
* Eat breakfast, which gets your day off to a good start.
* Avoid grease and high-fat dairy foods.
* Focus on whole grains -- good sources of vitamin B, which aids the metabolic production of energy.
* Add some iron, the energy boosting mineral.

Snow day

2011-02-03T05:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my second snow day. Of course, thanks to technology, I was able to work from home, which was kind of nice.

But what I found the last two days is that I was more hungry during the day than I am when I am at work. Both days I grazed -- eating little meals about every three hours. It was relaxing and enjoyable, but I was thankful for Weight Watchers, because without the PointsPlus system, I could have eaten my weight in food.

But around 2 p.m. yesterday, nothing in my fridge or pantry looked appealing, so I whipped up some hummus and spread it on celery.

VAL'S HUMMUS
2 15-ounce cans of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
Juice of 1 lemon
1 Tblsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1 Tblsp. tahini
2 garlic cloves, diced
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. oregano
1 jarred roasted red pepper, cut in chucks
2 to 4 Tblsp. water
* Drain and rinse the chickpeas; place in food processor and process until they are in small dice.
* Add remaining ingredients, but only 2 tablespoons of water. Puree until mixture is smooth. Hummus should be a thick paste. If you want a thinner consistency, add more water
* Remove from bowl of mixer. Each tablespoon has about 1 PointsPlus.

Hello February....

2011-02-02T05:00:00.002-05:00

...and good-by January, the month I decided to get serious and stay true to Weight Watchers. Did I eat well? Probably better than I have eaten in years. Was it hard? At times.

I did learn a few things last month that I plan on following -- hopefully forever.
1. I do not bring anything into my house that may cause a binge. When we have company, as soon as they are out the door, I toss any food that might throw me off track.
2. I plan my meals weekly, so I know exactly what we are having for dinner each night. I have no problem eating well during the day. It's always been the hours after 4 p.m. that has been my diet downfall. Not anymore.
3. I have a treat every night.
4. Grocery shopping makes me hungry. It doesn't matter if I just ate a Thanksgiving-like meal, when I hit the market, my stomach starts growling. So now I buy one or two bananas, depending on how hungry I am. As soon as I hit the car, the bananas come out. So much better than the package of Twizzlers that used to accompany me home.
5. Each night I say a prayer of Thanksgiving.
6. Each morning I say a prayer, asking for help.

My new love

2011-02-01T05:00:00.001-05:00

Ch, ch, ch CHIA! Those funny terra cotta animals that when watered, grew green hair. I never really thought about what kind of seeds lurked under the surface, but I know now: chia seeds, the newest darlings on the nutritious foods block.

Dr. Oz loves these harvested, unprocessed, nutty-tasting, nutrient-dense whole grain seeds with omega-3 fatty acids. They have among the highest antioxidant activity of any food, and because the seeds are packed with fiber, Dr. Oz says if you ingest 15 grams a day – about 1 tablespoon – you’ll start shedding pounds without even trying.

Dr. Oz is not alone in his love of chia seeds. Dr. Andrew Weil is convinced that we will soon be hearing more about this powerful little food. He says that if you add chia seeds to water and let it sit for 30 minutes, a gel forms. Researchers suggest that this reaction also takes place in the stomach, slowing the process by which digestive enzymes break down carbohydrates and convert them into sugar.

And one more: The Doctor’s TV show listed chia seeds as one of 52 foods we should eat to achieve a healthier 2011. The docs claim chia seeds slow aging.

In addition to reducing food cravings, making you feel fuller faster, and keeping you young, there is some research that claims chia seeds can benefit diabetes because they slow down the rate our bodies convert carbs into simple sugar, thereby controlling blood sugar. And more claims say they reduce blood pressure. Chia gel can hydrate the body, a boon for athletes.

We might just be discovering this wondrous seed, but they have been around for centuries. In pre-Columbian times they were a main component of the Aztec and Mayan diets. It has been written that Aztec warriors lived on one tablespoon of chia seeds a day. The Aztecs also used chia medicinally to stimulate saliva flow and to relieve joint pain and sore skin. It was a major crop in central Mexico between 1500 and 900 B.C., and was still cultivated well into the 16th century, AD, but after the Spanish conquest, authorities banned it because of its close association with Aztec religion.

I first came across chia seeds at Catch a Healthy Habit Café in Fairfield, a mecca for the raw food movement in Fairfield County. They make a chia pudding that is amazingly yummy. Today, I’m including my favorite recipe, which is ridiculously easy to make. I have a half cup each morning, and cannot believe how it fills me up. An hour after eating chia pudding, I have a bowl of oatmeal, and I am full for hours.

CHIA PUDDING2 Tblsp. Chia seeds
1 cup almond or coconut milk
¼ tsp. pure vanilla extract
14 dried cherries, cut in quarters
* Put chia seeds, almond milk, vanilla and cherries in a glass container with a lid. Tighten the lid and shake well to thoroughly combine. Refrigerate overnight. Makes 4 servings.

Snack attack

2011-01-31T05:00:00.000-05:00

Since I started Weight Watchers, there are two things I find myself reaching for between meals: fruit and popcorn.

Fruit -- which is now 0 PointsPlus on the new eating plan, is always my first option. I always have it at the ready -- either grapes, apple or bananas, which I can just pop in my mouth. If I am not famished, I'll take the time to peel an orange or grapefruit.

The point is, I always have fruit in the fridge, which is usually all I need to tame my hunger.

But sometimes, fruit just doesn't cut it. That's when I break out the Jolly Time popcorn, which already has aligned its packages to reflect the new PointsPlus. And because I really have to like the food I eat, I bought three different types of Jolly Time, all with 1 PointsPlus per bag. The kettle corn was the first one I tried, and it was just a tad too sweet for me. Plus, it was a mini bag. The buttery flavor Jolly Time was good, but again, it was a mini bag. The third box I opened was plain old air popped Jolly Time, and imagine my surprise when the bag was more than double the size of the mini bags. I ate with gusto, and by the time I finished this treat, I was more than sated.

What was missing was the stomach lump I used to have when I would inhale a bag of pretzels in one sitting.

Jack LaLanne

2011-01-28T05:50:00.004-05:00

When I heard the news that Jack LaLanne died this week at age 96, I took a few minutes to offer a prayer for this amazing man. LaLanne was part of my childhood, the TV fitness guru who my mother exercised with daily -- through the TV of course.

I would exercise right along with my mom, and although I found his commands often daunting, this was a special time for mom and me, just the two of us doing something no one else in the family wanted to join. I had her undivided interest -- almost. After all, she did have to pay attention to the screen as well.

Around this time my mother developed a love for Carlton Fredericks and Adelle Davis, pioneers in the field of nutrition, vitmains and minerals. I have no idea if she got tuned in to these two through LaLanne, but I do know that her knowledge learned through these three people sent her on a course of nutritious eating long before most people ever gave diet and nutrition a second thought.

LaLanne's message was simple and concise: Exercise daily, eat nutritiously, loading up on fresh vegetables and fruits and whole grains, and don't be afraid to challenge yourself. And as I am thinking back on those days, his tagline just popped into my head, one I think we would all be wise to remind ourselves daily: "Exercise is king. Nutrition is queen. Put them together and you've got a kingdom!"

And although LaLanne is now gone from this world, he is back in my life. His legend certainly lives on.

Simply yummy

2011-01-27T08:58:00.004-05:00

Last night I had forgotten to defrost anything for dinner, it was snowing really hard, and I decided a little creativity was in order. I had a dozen eggs, so I checked out recipes on www.weightwaters.com and decided the Breakfast Enchilada could work. For me, having breakfast for dinner is all about comfort.

The result was excellent. For the wrap, I used Trader Joe's habanero chili wraps, which added the perfect amount of zest to the dish. This recipe is a keeper because it meets my three goals for a successful weekday meal: It's economical, easy to prepare and tasty. The fact that it is vegetarian is the cherry on this dish.

I was going to serve it with a salad, but just as I was about to pull out the greens, a recall warning for Stop & Shop's organic greens came over the TV. Scary, since I have been eating from this batch all week. But a side of roasted corn proved a perfect accompaniment to our meal. At only 6 PointsPlus per serving, there is no doubt in my mind that I will be making this meal very often.

BREAKFAST ENCHILADA
2 sprays) cooking spray
2 tsp. olive oil
2 medium scallions, chopped
1 small green peppers, seeded and chopped
1 medium tomatoes, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced (medium)
4 large egg whites
2 large eggs
1/2 cup low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
2 Tblsp. cilantro, fresh, chopped
1/4 tsp. table salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper, freshly ground
4 medium whole wheat tortillas
1/2 cups fat-free sour cream
1/2 cups salsa, medium or hot variety
* Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat a shallow baking dish with cooking spray.
* Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add scallions, green pepper, tomato and garlic; sauté 5 minutes. Add egg whites and whole eggs; cook until eggs are scrambled, about 3 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and stir in cheese, cilantro, salt and black pepper.
* Place a tortilla on a flat surface; spoon 1/4 of egg mixture onto center of tortilla and roll up tortilla. Fill remaining tortillas with remaining egg mixture, then place tortillas side-by-side in prepared baking dish; lightly coat with cooking spray.
* Bake until golden brown and tortilla ends are slightly crisp, about 10 minutes. Serve with sour cream and salsa spooned over top. Top each enchilada with 2 tablespoons of sour cream and 2 tablespoons of salsa. Makes 4 servings. 6 PointsPlus per serving.

2 recipes

2011-01-26T05:41:00.004-05:00

I usually devote today's post to my Weight Watchers meeting, which I missed last night because of the SNOW. Mom Nature are you listening? Enough!

Since it took me three hours to get into work yesterday, I had to work late. But my reaction to missing my meeting was so unexpected: I was disappointed. And this is a good thing.

On the way home last night -- that only took 90 minutes -- I started to think about how I am not meeting the WW daily requirement of two dairy servings a day. Since I am lactose intolerant, I avoid milk, but always eat one yogurt. It's the second serving I am missing.

This morning, I made myself what I know will become my daily drink to get me going: 8 ounces of almond milk, frozen blueberries and strawberries, and a banana. I whipped it up in the blender, and the result was a 16-ounce smoothie worth 1 PointsPlus. What a treat.

My other recipe is for oatmeal, the biggest hit at last Sunday's brunch. I was silently laughing at my son and daughter, who were impressed with how good steel-cut Irish oatmeal is. When they were children, they would sit there and gag rather than eat their oatmeal. Have times changed!

Do I have time to make real oatmeal daily? Absolutely not. But I made so much of it Sunday, that I had enough leftovers for breakfast all week. Besides the flavor, the texture of steel cut oatmeal is chewy and more filling than the flakes we are used to. And at about 3 PointsPlus per 1/4 cup serving, I think it is worth the effort. For an extra treat -- and of course some added PointsPlus -- you can throw in some nuts.

VAL'S OATMEAL
4 cups water
1 cup steel-cut oatmeal
1/4 cup dried cherries
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 Tblsp. pure maple syrup
* Bring water to a boil. Add oatmeal, cherries, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and maple syrup, stir, and after oatmeal begins to thicken, about 5 minutes, lower heat to simmer.
* Cook uncovered for about 30 minutes, or until the oatmeal reaches your desired consistency.

Every diet in the world

2011-01-25T05:00:00.003-05:00

My friend Susan loves to laugh at me and my diets. And I have to agree with her that I am nuts when it comes to dieting.

We were talking last week about all the crazy ways I have tried to shed pounds, and she challenged me to write down every diet I have ever tried. I really tried to do this, but it's impossible. I have tried them all. But one thing Susan said struck home: That no matter what diet I try, I give it my all, tell the world that this is the diet, and that this time I am really going to reach my goal, and stay there.

And Susan is correct: That's what I said. But I lied. Internally I was telling myself that I was a phony, and that I knew that there was no way I would ever stay on this diet for life. In most cases I was miserable, depriving myself of the foods I love. I hated the diet. And I probably wasn't all too happy with myself, because if I really loved me, I would never have treated myself this way.

What a revelation.

And yes, right now I am outwardly saying that I love the new Weight Watchers diet, but it's what I am saying to myself that makes me confident that this time it is for life. My inner voice is not telling me that I am a failure. Instead, my inner voice is agreeing with my outer voice, and believes that I am now on an eating plan, not a diet. My inner voice tells me daily that the way I am eating is making me feel happy and content, not deprived.

For the first time in my life, my inner voice is being kind to me. And I have to admit that I like this kinder, gentler inside me.

It's Monday

2011-01-24T06:57:00.002-05:00

...and I am not singing the blues. My weekend of challenges: Met.

I did exactly what I had planned on doing, and this morning, I have the biggest smile on my face.

I had saved my 49 extra Weight Watchers PointsPlus for Saturday, and I know I used them all. I made baked ravioli and meatballs, and for dessert, apple pie and carrot cake. I ate a normal serving of the ravioli, had one meatball, and was content with a tiny sliver of apple pie -- actually just a taste -- and a small piece of carrot cake. We had a big brunch late Sunday morning, and the pie and cake made it onto the spread of food. What was left of everything -- and that includes the ravioli -- was divided up among our relatives and went home with them.

Yesterday, I ate on plan. After dinner, I started thinking about what was left in my house, and the quart of vanilla ice cream in my freezer started calling my name. Jack was in the kitchen, and I asked him to please toss the vanilla ice cream, which he was more than happy to do. Truth be told, last night I was exhasted, the time when I start eating everything in sight. If Jack had not tossed the ice cream, I am convinced that I would have eaten the remains right out of the container.

But here's the best part: As soon as I knew the ice cream was gone, I gave myself a mental pat on the back and breathed a sigh of relief.

Close call. But it just reinforced to me that this time, I really am in it to win it.

Give this girl an "A"

2011-01-21T04:44:00.002-05:00

I passed my test: Ate like a "normal" person last night, and today, I'm feeling like I've begun to really win that battle of my bulge.

Last night I ate out, in a French restaurant no less. I picked out what I wanted online before I got to the restaurant -- Seafood Bouillabaisse or Grilled Tuna Salad -- and had told myself that was exactly what I wanted. I also decided not to pay attention to the night's specials.

But then I found out that last night the restaurant was offering the Grilled Tuna Salad in an appetizer portion, and the Bouillabaisse came in two sizes. I took it as a sign that this time I will succeed. I had both, settling on the small Bouillabaisse and adding a glass of red wine -- because I knew I was within my PointsPlus.

And as the desserts went around the table -- Crepes and Creme Brulee -- I decided not to take even one bite. It's not that I wasn't tempted, because I was. But for some reason I was not tempted enough to take a bite. Instead, I sipped a cup of Ginger Lemon tea, and I was content.

Wow. Bring on the weekend!

Testing, testing!

2011-01-20T05:57:00.004-05:00

I am both looking forward to -- and dreading -- the next four days. Starting tonight, the challenges start coming, one after another.

Tonight and Saturday I will be eating in a restaurant. And although I know I can order what I think is healthy, in most cases, the food will be loaded with hidden ingredients (fat, salt, sugar, the holy trio of cooking). Saturday we are all descending on the restaurant where my son-in-law is chef. Monday I asked him what I can order that will keep me on my diet, and although he thought long and hard, he honestly said nothing. He was kidding -- sort of. He knows how I am cooking now, and he knows that when he adds a little of this or that it not only adds to the flavor, it adds to the calorie count. Of course, I can special order something, and he will oblige.

Which leads me to today's point: There really is no reason why I should dread eating out. It's all about having the gumption to speak up. Whatever excuse you give the server, believe me he or she has heard it before. If you don't want to admit you are dieting -- which by the way everyone is -- tell him or her that you are allergic to some foods and need something cooked a certain way. If you say it with a smile and respect, your wish will become reality.

Of course, if you're dining at Burger King, this isn't going to work. But in a non-chain restaurant, this is your right. You are there to have an enjoyable meal, and to eat the food.

Tomorrow, I'll let you know how all this works, because tonight, I don't know the chef in the kitchen. But what I did was check out the menu and have narrowed my dinner down to two options:
Seafood Bouillabaisse: Scallops, clams, shrimp, mussels, calamari, mixed seasonal vegetables, steamed in curry fish soup OR
Grilled Tuna Salad: Mixed green salad with grilled tuna, mango, tomato, pineapple, Sesame seeds and teriyaki dressing.

Today, I am eating lightly, with a heavy concentration on greens, fruit, a little protein and some oatmeal. When I get to dinner tonight, I will have 20 Weight Watchers PointsPlus to blow, and I'm sure I'll blow them all. BUT -- and it's a big one -- if I make it through tonight, I will prove something to myself.

Tonight is my test. Let's hope my hatred of failing pulls me through.

Wow!

2011-01-19T05:49:00.002-05:00

Since I got on the scale last night at Weight Watchers, the word "wow" has been circling through my brain. I lost another 4.6 pounds, which brings my two-week weight loss to 11 pounds.

I know I am going to slow down this week, but an immediate 11-pound weight loss is amazing for me. My body just doesn't perform like that. At least it hasn't prior to this year.

This time around it really is different for me. Those demons in my brain that usually tell me I am a failure and will never lose weight are almost gone. Instead, I'm thinking "Wow," and "I will do this" all the time. When the demons start trying to butt in, I mentally tell them to get lost. You cannot believe how freeing that is. And most days it's just a simple "go away" that sends them packing.

This so makes me feel in control. And that's key: Because when I am in control, I eat well. I make good food choices. I reach for the piece of fruit instead of something better left on the shelf. Or a have a glass of water or a cup of tea, wait 20 minutes, and in most cases it's a few hours before I am thinking about food again.

It's as if everything I have known about dieting for years is finally coming together for me. I know part of the reason is my sleep apnea diagnosis. Continue following my old ways, and the sleep apnea will be just the beginning of my medical issues. I am so thankful I finally woke up and faced reality.

Comments

2011-01-18T05:00:00.002-05:00

For some reason, the following comment -- all the way from India -- will not show up as a comment. But I wanted to thank the person who wrote this, and tell you how much your sweet comments meant to me. Here is what s/he wrote:

Can I just say, this blog is what got me through the day today. Every time I read it, I just get more and more excited about what's next. Very refreshing blog and very refreshing ideas. I'm glad that I came across this when I did. I love what you've got to say and the way you say it. The information in this blog is really a appreciated. I would really like to say that the knowledge you have about this is quiet impressive. But the main thing here is the way to present the information, and you have done it very nicely. Great work and love to visit on your blog again and again. Keep posting nice information.

How many times can I say thank you! This comment made my day -- actually made my year.

When people ask me why I write I blog, I tell them it's to keep me honest, to keep me on track, and to hopefully make me stick to a diet. I write it for me, but when I get comments, I realize that I am also hitting a nerve with others, that we really are not alone, and that so many of us -- all over the world -- have issues with diet, weight, exercise, self-image, motivation -- I can go on and on.

None of us is in this alone. Some of the most gorgeous people on Earth feel insecure, as evidence by Portia De Rossi's new book, "Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain." I caught her appearance on Oprah, and cried right along with her, as she told her story of anorexia.

And then I thought back to this lovely comment I received -- and so many other comments from so many people over the past 18 months -- and decided that I am one of the luckiest people alive. What I started as a blog just for me, has put me in contact with so many people this past year I never would have met. And may we all win our struggle -- whatever it is.

Another Monday

2011-01-17T07:28:00.003-05:00

This is the second Monday in a row that I woke up happy. I made it through another weekend sticking to the Weight Watchers Plan and eating within my PointsPlus.

It's actually becoming a game, and each day when I successfully stay on Plan, I tell myself I am a winner. Positive reinforcement, and it's working.

Each Monday, I take a look at the week ahead, and decide which days I will face the most challenges. This week it's Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, and Sunday breakfast and lunch. Thursday will be a restaurant meal; Friday, our book club -- which includes dinner -- and then this weekend, when we will have a house full of relatives.

Here's my plan:
During the day Thursday through Sunday, I will eat lightly, filling myself with fruits, vegetables and some protein to keep me sated.
Thursday night: I have already looked at the restaurant menu and know what I will be eating. And although I will act as if I am listening to the server relate that night's specials, I really will not be listening. If I stray that night, I know that could open me up for failure the rest of the weekend. The old: "I blew it. Might as well have fun this weekend."

And guess what that could do: Make me gain back all the pounds I lost the last two weeks. SO NO WORTH IT.

Friday night: I will use portion control. I will also avoid any hors d'oeuvres, unless they are veggie sticks. And no wine.

The weekend is really in my control. I can cook Weight Watcher's meals, and again exercise portion control.

It's a plan. But next Monday, if I wake with a smile on my face, it will so be worth the effort.

Reflections

2011-01-14T11:49:00.004-05:00

What a difference a year can make.

I decided to read my posts from January of last year, and they made me sad. I was anguishing that I had not lost weight, that Kara's wedding was three months away, and that I lacked any conviction to stay on a diet.

This January is so much different. And I am beginning to understand why. This time, I set realistic goals that I know I can follow. I am not setting myself up for failure, which has been my MO for years. I usually throw myself into something and do it for a few weeks, because I think it is good for me. I either get bored or injure myself, so before long, I'm back on the couch. Never once did I ask myself: Do you like what you are doing?

I not only like, I love the way I am living now. I wake up each morning never doubting that I will do what I had planned to do. I am exercising and eating correctly.

And I don't care if it takes me a year to reach my weight goal. But there is one thing I know for sure: January, 2012, when I read the posts from this year, there will be a smile on my face because I will still be loving life -- but pounds thinner. That pretzel on the yoga mat will be me!

The fruit thing

2011-01-13T05:00:00.001-05:00

I went back to the sleep clinic last week, and of course was told that if I lost weight, my sleep apnea would improve. I explained that I had joined Weight Watchers, and instead of approval, the doctor told me that he disagrees with the new plan because eating as much fruit as you want is not a good thing. He added that a sugar is a sugar is a sugar, and that our body processes sugar the same way.

I couldn't disagree more. I'm not getting into the science thing here, but does he know anything about fiber and how that contributes to how your body processes food? My main disagreement is all about food.

I've admitted that I can -- and often do -- eat uncontrollably. One of my favorite things to binge on is a 16-oz. package of Twizzlers. I just did the PointsPlus conversion, and each Twizzler stick is 1 PP. I eat the whole package, which I am assuming probably has around 20 strips. That's 20 PPs, almost the total number of PPs I am allowed per day.

Is there any way I would sit down and eat 20 bananas? Or 20 apples? How about 20 grapefruits? Not a chance. I would be too full. (Plus, I would be spending hours in the bathroom!)

Some days, those 20 Twizzlers are my appetizer. You don't even want to know what I can eat as my main course and dessert!

I am not trying to be funny here, but if any doctors are reading this post, please consider what you say to patients. When the doctor said that to me, I blew it off because I am determined to make this WW plan work this time. If I was on the fence, it would have sent me to Border's, searching for the latest diet book du jour, which would eventually lead to another failure.

I am not saying that WW is for everyone. But if you follow it, it is a healthy plan that can become a way of life. It fits into my new mantra: Eat right. Exercise daily. Repeat.

Wa-hoo!

2011-01-12T08:43:00.004-05:00

I lost 6.4 pounds last week. A record for me. I know this is not something I will duplicate next week at Weight Watchers, but right now, I couldn't be happier.

I am also amazed. Not once last week did I think: "Poor me. I hate dieting."

Instead, I was trying new recipes every night, eating better than I have in a long time, and filling my plate with proteins and veggies -- light on the carbs. When I was hungry, I reached for a piece of fruit and I was satisfied.

And why did I reach for that piece of fruit: Because fruit counts for nothing on the new WW plan. Nadda. Zero.

And the best part of the fruit thing: I was making a choice that thin people make all the time. It was freeing.

I've been doing a lot of thinking this past week about my new-found sense of calm, trying to figure out why this is all happening now. I have many thoughts, but I can sum them all up in one word: normal.

I feel normal. I am comfortable eating this way and I am comfortable exercising the way I do. I like this feeling. And I pray morning and night that it will continue. I don't want to return to my old ways.

The joy of journaling

2011-01-11T05:00:00.000-05:00

The joy of journaling: Did I really just write that as the headline of this blog post? Me, who would rather do anything than write down what I eat actually is enjoying it now?

How can this be? And why?

I don't know. But since Wednesday, I have been writing down everything that passes my lips. I think it's because the Weight Watchers plan is new, and I cannot easily keep a running total going in my head, as I did on the old plan. I'm not saying that was smart.

But what I've come to realize is that I actually like seeing what I am eating from day to day. It makes me feel in control, another feeling I have not had recently when it comes to my diet. My journal is holding me responsible, while also reminding me that I need to drink more water or add 2 teaspoons of oil to my salad.

This should come as no surprise since a recent study found that dieters who journal lose double the amount of weight than dieters who do not. So journal it is.

Yes!

2011-01-10T05:32:00.002-05:00

Am I dreaming? I actually made it through the weekend staying true to the Weight Watchers plan, something I haven't done in years. I even fit in some wine Saturday night, and as I sipped my favorite beverage, I thought to myself, "This feels really good."

What a difference a week can make. I have no idea how much weight I have lost, but I feel so much lighter. Last week I felt bloated, had no energy, and was dreading my drive into work.

In the last paragraph I emphasized the word "lighter" because although I do feel as if a pin was stuck into my middle to let out some air, I am no place near being light. For me, this is an important distinction. Often, if I ate well for a few days, it wouldn't take much for me to remind myself of this fact and then "reward" myself with something I really should not be eating. And that would start an eating binge.

Today, I am determined not to do that. Right now, I am in what a psychologist would call "a good place," committed to losing weight, committed to my exercise routine, and determined that this time my outcome really will be different.

I started last week with two goals: to go to a WW meeting and to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Tuesday, I attended a meeting, and added another goal to last week: to journal daily. I accomplished both last week -- although I still have two days to go!

Piece of cake. Or should I say slab of salmon! So much healthier....

My journey

2011-01-07T09:40:00.003-05:00

A year ago, if someone had told me I would be leaving my house at 4:30 to get to a yoga class at 5, I would have internally said, "Not me."

A year ago, if someone had told me that I would be making walking dates -- scheduling them as I would a hair, nail or doctor appointment -- I would have internally said, "Not me."

It's the word "internally" that is key here. I talked a good game. I even wrote words that I believed to be true, but I didn't really believe I would ever love exercise.

I always exercised -- in spurts -- and always hated it. I would start exercising like a mad women, and before long, I would pull a muscle, which meant I could not exercise for a few weeks, and those few weeks turned into months.

I always found yoga intimidating -- but intriguing. In July I decided to give it a try -- after I had written a yoga story for HealthyLife magazine. Yoga4Everybody in Fairfield offers a $30 introductory fee for a month that allows you to take as many classes as you want. For the first time in my life I started slowly, with two gentle yoga classes and one restorative yoga class a week. After the first class, I found as if I had come home. My yoga classes soon became permanent fixtures in my calendar.

Yoga is now a way of life for me, a practice I do daily, sometimes two or three times a day. Sometimes it's only meditation, sometimes it's breathing, and sometimes it's a class. Today was a monthly 2 1/2 hour morning Sadhana, an inspiring, magical, almost mystical mix of sitting meditation, postures, breath and chanting. It is part of Kundalini yoga, which has become my favorite way to find inner peace and strength.

And after Sadhana, I headed to the mall for an hour power walk with my exercise buddy, Ann. I looked at my watch at 8:30, laughed, and said to Ann, "Do you believe I have just done 3 1/2 hours of exercise." Our walks are a therpay of sorts. We work out all sorts of issues, talk about everything, and before we know it, an hour has flown by.

I always knew that to embrace anything, you have to love doing it. Yoga and walking are making me whole. They are helping me become strong. And along the way, I am becoming a much happier person.

Day 1

2011-01-06T06:18:00.006-05:00

What a day I had yesterday! I ate well -- and often -- and each time I was hungry, I reached for a piece of fruit. I'm really loving this new Weight Watchers PointsPlus (PP for short).

It actually felt kind of decadent eating a banana before breakfast, sprinkling my oatmeal with 1/4 cup dried cherries (OK, those count as 4 PP), having a grapefruit as a mid-morning snack, and adding a diced apple to my lunch salad. I could have fit this much fruit into the old Weight Watchers plan, but I didn't. I'm not sure why.

I was thinking about the "why" on my drive home from work last night, combined with the notion that the PP plan is not a diet. How great it would be if I really can train myself to reach for fruit instead of a bag of Twizzlers. There is something psychological about a food being zero PP that makes you want to choose it over something that could eat up most of my daily PP allotment. And when it's fruit, that makes it special. Most vegetables have always been zero Points, but veggies are just not the same.

And speaking of veggies, I also discovered that winter squash and pumpkin now weigh in as zero PP. Personally, I could eat one a day. In the past, this alone would have eaten up some serious Points.

For the first time in years, I really believe I have a chance to stop yo-yoing my way though life. That last sentence just made me smile.

My new day

2011-01-05T06:13:00.003-05:00

Jennifer Hudson, here I come.

All day yesterday, her new song was playing over and over in my mind, except I imagined her singing to me -- "Val, it's your new day!"

And I did what I said I would do yesterday: I made my Weight Watchers meeting. It really was like coming home. My leader, Karen, was really happy to see Jack and me, as was my WW buddy, Donna, the lovely woman Jack and I convinced that Weight Watchers really is the way to go -- and the one who has now lost 30 pounds and is looking really great.

I could have been Donna. Instead, I am exactly 5 pounds heavier than I was this time last year. But enough about the past. It's time to concentrate on the future. For me, 2011 will be the year I shed my extra weight -- forever. I am not looking for a quick fix. I am looking at this as my year-long project, and by the time I ring in 2012, I will be thin.

And I love WW's new plan, PointsPlus. The fact that I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want -- without counting them as any PointsPlus -- is freeing. On the way home from our meeting last night, we stopped at the grocery store and I bought bananas and grapes -- fruits I would have to portion into servings on the old plan -- but now fruits I can eat with abandon.

Kind of. We are still instructed to eat until we are full, so if I am really hungry, I should slowly eat a banana, wait 20 minutes, and then see if I am still hungry. If so, eat a second.

Sounds easy. Of course, I know it's not. But it can become a learned behavior. Besides, it's really time this old dog learned some new tricks.

We are also encouraged to set a goal for the week. Always the over-achiever, I have two.
1. I will drink 8 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
2. I will journal, writing down everything that passes my lips. I know the importance of journaling, that studies have shown those who journal lose double the weight of those dieters who never journal. So journal I will.

And oh -- one more thing. I will forever delete the word diet from my vocabulary. It was made very clear to us last night that WW is not a diet -- that it is a way of eating for life. And what a phony I am to call my blog Diet? Not Again!, and then call WW a diet plan.

This is my new day, my new way. And right now I am feeling on top of the world. If Jennifer Hudson can do it, so can I.

A confession

2011-01-04T05:52:00.002-05:00

If I do nothing else today, I am going to Weight Watchers. If I get tied up at work, I will excuse myself, say I have an important meeting, and leave.

I need the support I get at meetings. I need structure. And more than anything else, I need to lose weight. For me, it's become a matter of life.

Last month, I was working on a story about the importance of sleep for HealthyLife magazine, and decided the best way to find out what a sleep study is all about is to sleep at a sleep center. Before I had time to realize what I had committed to, I was spending the night at Stamford Hospital's Sleep Center. A week later I found out I have sleep apnea, and although mild, I do have 12 episodes an hour. The diagnosis hit me hard, coming on the heels of the death of my dear brother-in-law. When our peers start dying, especially those we love without reserve, the reality of death hits hard.

And to find out I stop breathing 12 times an hour is scary. Stamford Hospital told me my case is mild, but to stop breathing even once a night is not something I find attractive. And although losing weight might not cure my apnea, it certainly is a step in the right direction.

I have written my story for HealthyLife, including a first person on the Sleep Center experience. But before the story publishes in HelathyLife, I wanted to write about it on my blog. Now that I've written it down, I feel lighter already.

The Weight Watchers meeting is on my schedule.

New year

2011-01-03T05:00:00.002-05:00

The reason I have ignored my blog for two weeks is simple: I was too busy shoving all the foods I have avoided for months into my mouth.

To say my eating has been out of control is an understatement. And each day I would wake up, determined to be good, and by noon, those great intentions were gone.

What really frosts me about the last two weeks is that I ignored this blog. I thought about it a lot, but I never went near my computer. And write about how challenging these weeks were is exactly what I should have been doing. God knows I am not perfect. And God also knows that when it comes to food, I have lots of demons to slay.

But today I did something I haven't been able to do in weeks: I found some leftover cake in the freezer and I tossed it. Huge step.

And the reason I threw out the cake: My friend Ann, the one I made my written exercise contract with in August -- and the one I have started a healthy eating contract with -- has been on my back big time the last 24 hours. After yesterday's walk, she knew my heart is just not into dieting. Since then, my email has been flooded with Ann-sent motivational notes. My two favorite:
1. Don't be defeatest. Be defeetest -- start walking.
2. AND, my favorite: Only you can stop you.

Throwing out the cake today was a first step. It almost came into work with me, and that would have been a disaster. But I remembered that I am the only one who can stop me.

Writing is the second step.

I keep saying that winning the battle of my bulges is all about baby steps.

I have two goals this week:
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Go to Weight Watchers tomorrow night.

The first goal goes into the category of a baby step. The second goal would be a toddler step. (Following the WW program would be a giant leap.)

Here's to a healthy 2011. Next year I do not want my resolution to be about losing weight. Enough already!

The week before Christmas

2010-12-20T05:07:00.004-05:00

Christmas kind of snuck up on me. It seems like only a few days ago that I was buying Halloween candy, and now I am wrapping presents.

Which got me thinking: Halloween was 50 days ago -- 7 weeks -- and if I had stuck to a diet, any diet, I could have been down a good chunk of weight. True to form I have been yo-yoing, and right now that yo-yo is is in the up position. I just admitted that the last seven weeks flew by, gone in a snap, and if I look at it that way, it should be easy to stay on a diet.

Ha!

On August 1, I signed my exercise contract with my friend, Ann, stipulating that I would exercise at least five times a week. We wrote up the contract, and one day after walking, grabbed a cup of coffee and signed our contracts. Sounds silly but it has worked beautifully. When we first signed the contract, we would report to each other daily the exercise we did to fulfill our contract. Sometime in September we both stopped our daily reporting, because exercise had become part of our life. Four days a week we meet at the mall and do a brisk 45 minutes around and around. The time flies. And we have to have a really good excuse not to make our early morning walking dates.

I also found yoga this year, and if I am not at Yoga4Everybody in Fairfield, I am in my meditation room, at the top of my house, practicing this ancient form I have come to love.

I did what experts have always preached: Find something you love, and you will stick with it. Exercise is now an important part of my day, and for that I am so very thankful. Before every practice, when I first sit on my mat, I say a prayer of thanks to God for guiding me to yoga. It has been life changing.

2010 has been my year of exercise. 2011 I will tackle eating. And I think I have a plan....

Reasons to break the fast

2010-12-16T05:00:00.000-05:00

I am definitely a morning person but I really don’t like eating breakfast. But I do know that if I eat the right kind of breakfast, come lunch, I really do eat like a sane person.

A 2002 study by the National Weight Control Registry, a group of more than 3,000 people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year, found that breakfast eaters were more successful at maintaining their weight loss. OK, I get this, but putting it into action is not easy. First, since I am allergic to wheat and lactose intolerant, cereal and milk has never been my thing. I know there are non-wheat cereals, and I know I can use almond or coconut milk, but the cereal thing is just not for me.

Oatmeal? I like it fine. Most people are perfectly sated on a bowl, and need nothing more till lunch. Oatmeal has the opposite effect on me, similar to Chinese food: two hours later I am famished.

Which leads me to eggs. I am so not a fan, but I find that if I scramble one for breakfast – and adds lots of veggies and spices to dull the egg flavor – I am fine until lunch. It’s just setting aside the time to make this breakfast happen that is often problematic. But I must, especially after reading a post on SparksPeople about the importance of breakfast.

It seems that scientists have proven that eating at regular intervals helps your brain send a signal to your body, telling it not to store the calories as fat—that you literally aren’t starving. When you skip meals, your body can switch into "starvation mode," hanging onto every calorie because it doesn’t know when, or if, the next meal is coming.

Every morning, 10 to 12 hours have passed since your last meal and your body is in fasting mode. Eating soon after rising will literally break this fast and fire up your metabolism for the day. If you aren’t hungry as soon as you get up, have something nutritious to eat anyway, even if it's small. After two to three weeks of eating even a small breakfast (like yogurt or fruit), your body will reset your appetite and you'll begin to naturally feel hungry in the morning.

OK – I can buy all that, but it’s the next info I find even more convincing:
• Breakfast boosts memory. Eating breakfast improves memory and learning ability. One study of college students found that those who ate breakfast scored 22 percent higher in word-recall tests than students who skipped breakfast. Breakfast raises your blood sugar, which is needed to make the memory-boosting neurotransmitter acetylcholine.
• Breakfast boosts mood and performance. A Harvard study showed that children who ate breakfast had 40 percent higher math grades and missed fewer days of school than non-breakfast eaters. Kids who skipped breakfast were twice as likely to be depressed, four times more prone to anxiety, and 30 percent more likely to be hyperactive. When children who "rarely" ate breakfast began eating breakfast "often," their math grades increased one full letter grade, and their levels of depression, anxiety and hyperactivity all decreased. While this study looked at children, it is natural to assume that adults would see similar results related to work performance and mood.

• Breakfast boosts nutrition. Breakfast eaters consume more nutrients each day than breakfast skippers. Eating an a.m. meal particularly increases one's intake of important nutrients like calcium, iron, zinc, B vitamins and fiber.
• Breakfast boosts heart health. Blood tends to become "sticky" overnight, making it more prone to clots in the morning. According to researchers at Canada’s Memorial University in Newfoundland, eating breakfast "unsticks" your blood. Skipping breakfast triples the blood’s clot-forming potential—and the risk of morning heart attacks and strokes. Recent studies have also found that cold cereals fortified with 400 micrograms of folic acid help curb homocysteine, a blood factor that boosts the risk of heart disease and strokes.

Time to go scramble an egg….

Sloooooow cooking!

2010-12-15T05:00:00.000-05:00

It’s finally winter – and that means it’s time for some new recipes. The following two are from EatingWell, truly one of my favorite magazines – for many reasons. The mag is gorgeous, the recipes really healthy, and most importantly, each works with amazing results. And the best part of both recipes: They cook in a slow cooker.

The first is the perfect antidote when snow starts falling because it reminds me of summer. This recipe uses chicken instead of pork, and the result is really yummy. And although it reminds me of summer, it is hearty enough to be called winter fare. EatingWell suggest topping it with sliced jalapenos, sliced red onions and sour cream. The next recipe is vegetarian, and we can always use a hearty veggie recipe to break up the week. I promise that you won’t miss the meat.

BARBECUE PULLED CHICKEN
1 8-oz. can reduced-sodium tomato sauce
1 4-oz. can chopped green chiles, drained
3 Tblsp. cider vinegar
2 Tblsp. honey
1 Tblsp. sweet or smoked paprika
1 Tblsp. tomato paste
1 Tblsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp. dry mustard
1 tsp. ground chipotle chile
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, trimmed of fat
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
• Stir tomato sauce, chiles, vinegar, honey, paprika, tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, ground chipotle and salt in a 6-quart slow cooker until smooth. Add chicken, onion and garlic; stir to combine.
• Put the lid on and cook on low until the chicken can be pulled apart, about 5 hours.
• Transfer the chicken to a cutting board and shred with a fork. Return the chicken to the sauce, stir well and serve.
• Makes 8 servings. Per serving: 184 calories; 8g fat; 68mg cholesterol; 8g carbohydrates; 20g protein; 1g fiber; 257mg sodium; 303mg potassium
• Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 1 month.

SQUASH, CHICKPEA AND RED LENTIL STEW
Serve over brown rice or steamed spinach.

3/4 cup dried chickpeas
2 1/2 lbs. kabocha squash, (see Note) or butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
2 large carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup red lentils
4 cups vegetable broth
2 Tblsp. tomato paste
1 Tblsp. minced peeled fresh ginger
1 1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. saffron, (see Note)
1/4 tsp. freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup lime juice
1/2 cup chopped roasted unsalted peanuts
1/4 cup packed fresh cilantro leaves, chopped
• Soak chickpeas in enough cold water to cover them by 2 inches for 6 hours or overnight. (Alternatively, use the quick-soak method: Place beans in a large pot with enough water to cover by 2 inches. Bring to a boil over high heat. Remove from heat and let stand for 1 hour.) Drain when ready to use.
• Combine the soaked chickpeas, squash, carrots, onion, lentils, broth, tomato paste, ginger, cumin, salt, saffron and pepper in a 6-quart slow cooker.
• Put on the lid and cook on low until the chickpeas are tender and the lentils have begun to break down, 5 to 6 1/2 hours.
• Stir in lime juice. Serve sprinkled with peanuts and cilantro.
• Makes 8 servings. Per serving: 294 calories; 7g fat; no cholesterol; 48g carbohydrates; 14g protein; 11g fiber; 578mg sodium; 1029mg potassium
• Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 1 month.
• Notes: Kabocha is a squash with a green-streaked rind and tender, sweet orange flesh. An average kabocha weighs two to three pounds.
• Considered the world's most expensive spice, saffron contributes a pungent flavor and intense yellow color. It is sold in threads and powdered form.

Discipline

2010-12-14T06:08:00.003-05:00

...I have none. There was a time when I would get up each morning, and the first thing I would do would log onto my blog and write. The last few weeks, this obviously has not been the case.

Part of the reason was a death in the family, which affected me greatly. But there is so much more to it than that.

It's all about discipline. And if I really think about it, isn't that what losing weight is all about as well?

I started the blog by saying I have no discipline, which really is not the case. But I do let things slide. When there are cookies around, somehow they find their way into my mouth. When I wake up in the morning emotionally drained, it is so easy to walk right past my computer than to sit down and write in my blog.

If I equate everything I do to discipline, not to willpower, maybe I really could make serious changes in my life. Learned behaviors. New patterns. Little steps toward change. Aren't all these simply buzz words for plain old discipline?

If I focus on one word, maybe I really could eventually make some serious changes. Discipline. Say it loud. Say it strong.

Aha!

2010-12-08T06:02:00.004-05:00

...sort of. I just finished reading two books: Geneen Roth's "Women Food and Good" -- a book all about not dieting. Concurrently, I was also reading everything I could about the Paleo Diet, which is exactly what Roth is so not about.

But first, I want to talk about Roth's book, which I recommend highly. Her premise sounds too good to be true: when you finally stop dieting, in addition to living her Eating Guidelines, you will eventually free yourself from obsessive eating, lose weight, and of course, feel so much better about yourself. Her Eating Guidelines are seven little rules that just make sense. That's not to say they are easy to do, because I break each of these rules daily. But I am trying.

Each day, I plan to work on one rule. Since there are seven, that means a rule a day. I will continue to work on these rules until each becomes part of my DNA.

The Eating Guidelines:
1. Eat when you are hungry.
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
4. Eat what your body wants.
5. Eat until you are satisfied.
6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

See -- that's not so hard. HA!

I break Rule 4 daily, because I started the Paleo Diet Monday, which is exactly what Roth is telling everyone not to do. But here's how I rationalize that decision: The Paleo Diet removes all wheat (which I am allergic to), dairy (I am lactose intolerant), and beans and legumes (definitely a problem when I am doing yoga). So actually, this diet seems to be more of a prescription for health rather than a restrictive eating plan.

And it's this line of thinking that has made me what I am today: overweight. But thank goodness I am smart enough to realize that "Women Food and God" must become compulsory reading -- daily.

31 Days in December

2010-12-03T07:39:00.001-05:00

SparksPeople is a community of people with a common goal: to lose weight, eat better and exercise more. My kind of Web site.

A few days ago, I downloaded a calendar Sparks compiled, “31 Days to Healthier Holidays.” So here we are, three days into December, and this morning was the first chance I got to read each day’s suggestions.

Dec. 1 was the day to take inventory of all the situations coming up that will make it difficult to eat wisely. Yesterday was a reminder to exercise at least 30 minutes each day – and if you can’t find 30 minutes at one stretch, to break it up into smaller segments.

And today’s thought: splurge wisely, a dose of reality to remind us that we don’t have to eat everything in sight. Just because something is in front of you doesn’t mean you have to eat the whole thing.

Case in point: Wednesday night we were having dinner in NYC, and I made terrific food choices – salad followed by fish. We were a table of 10, and when it came time for dessert, my very trim sister-in-law ordered two desserts – a tiramisu and a cheesecake. Those two desserts made it around the table twice, with each person taking little slivers, which you could really taste and savor. And when the dessert plates were finally put down, there was still a little bit of dessert on each plate.

And here is the key: Desserts are OK, but do you really have to eat the whole thing? Isn’t it better to take a sliver, really taste that sliver, and perhaps have a second sliver, rather than big bites of dessert, sometimes without even tasting what you are eating? And maybe, just maybe, my sister-in-law’s tactic of not depriving herself really is important for keeping those extra pounds from piling on.

So yes, Sparks, I intend to splurge wisely this holiday season. At the very least, I am going to try my hardest to accomplish this goal.